it's perfect for the Muslim woman who loves to swim, but hates being stoned to death (exit strategy)

"President Bush is still on the road trying to drum up support for his new Iraq program. Earlier today, he was on 'The View.' He was drunk. This time, Bush has an exit strategy for the Iraq war. In January of 2009, he will escape to Crawford, Texas." --David Letterman

"Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo announced he's thinking about running for president and is now forming an exploratory committee. So far, the only member of the committee is someone named Tom Tancredo." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a new international survey, people in the United States believe in evolution less than any other industrial country. When asked why they don't believe in evolution, Americans said, 'Kevin Federline.'" --Conan O'Brien

"This week, a new swimsuit for Muslim women was introduced called the 'burqini,' which is a stylish water safe burka meant for swimming. The manufacturer says it's perfect for the Muslim woman who loves to swim, but hates being stoned to death." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Big Changes At New York Tim (an inch and a half)

"Virginia Governor Jim Gilmore has dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Gilmore said he dropped out because, 'I don't have the star power of a Tom Tancredo or a Mike Huckabee.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The U.S. government is now offering $50 million for the capture of Osama bin Laden. $50 million for the capture of Osama bin Laden. Are you like me, thinking, 'Wow, do we really have that much left?' To sweeten the deal, the money will be presented by Howie Mandel." --David Letterman

     

"Starting today, the New York Times reduced the size of their newspaper. They cut the paper's width by an inch and a half. The move was announced with the headline 'Big Changes At New York Tim.'" --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Terrible news for the monkey

"Tom Tancredo, who was a congressman from Colorado and ran for president, made a bet that his state would not legalize marijuana. And of course, he lost that bet. And you know what he has to do because he lost that bet? Yes, he's got a suck on a joint. I just hope in the next few years he loses a bet on gay marriage." –Bill Maher



"In a big meeting of the Republican National Committee, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal told the GOP to 'stop being the stupid party.' Then Texas Governor Rick Perry gave the rebuttal." –Jay Leno



"Last week Iran launched a monkey into space, and it actually returned to Earth alive. It was great news for the space program and terrible news for the monkey who thought he'd finally gotten out of Iran." –Jimmy Fallon