I’m sure it’s not the first time Trump has been closely pursued by a brain surgeon (and world leaders in the audience laughed)

President Trump claimed that he has accomplished more than any other president in history, and world leaders in the audience laughed, though technically they were still laughing from when he said, "Hello, I'm the president of the United States." --Seth Meyers

New national poll numbers show Dr. Ben Carson has pulled within four points of frontrunner Donald Trump. And I’m sure it’s not the first time Trump has been closely pursued by a brain surgeon. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: Think Things Are Bad Now? Just Wait, Says Chris Hedges

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one (Gary Busey follow him around with some nunchucks)

"Nobody’s happy about the government shutdown. In fact, the Taliban just issued a statement where they criticized Congress for putting themselves before everyone else. You know things are bad when Americans are saying, 'Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one.'" –Jimmy Fallon

This week, a truck carrying 40,000 pounds of vodka overturned in North Carolina. The driver is fine. He said he’s shaken, but not stirred. –Jimmy Fallon

Now that the dust has settled from the Democratic debate, it looks like Hillary Clinton is going to remain the Democratic front-runner. And believe it or not over on the Republican side, Donald Trump is still in the lead. And now Trump is saying that he should be given Secret Service protection. As opposed to his current security: having Gary Busey follow him around with some nunchucks. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

See, he IS one of us! (Alexa, Daddy’s sad)

El Chapo’s lawyers say that while in U.S. custody, his health is deteriorating. El Chapo has lost so much weight, he’s down two tunnel sizes. –Conan O’Brien

Amazon Prime has made it possible to have beer and wine delivered to your home by Alexa. All you have to do is say the phrase, “Alexa, Daddy’s sad.” –Conan O’Brien

Last night, President Trump’s tax return from 2005 was released, showing that he had an income of more than $150 million. When they heard this, Trump supporters said, “$150 million? See, he IS one of us!” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

10 Media Strategies of Manipulation (more entertainment, less news)

                                    

“Earlier in the day, the network’s president, Jeff Zucker, announced his surprise resignation after he disclosed a consensual relationship with a colleague. ‘As part of the investigation into Chris Cuomo’s tenure at CNN, I was asked about a consensual relationship with my closest colleague, someone I have worked with for more than 20 years,’ Zucker said in a statement. ‘I acknowledged the relationship evolved in recent years. I was required to disclose it when it began but I didn’t. I was wrong.’ 

Man, this must’ve been a really weird day for CNN. On the one hand, it’s bad that your boss is resigning under a cloud of scandal. On the other hand, you got the scoop! You may not know this, but he’s the one who made CNN what it is today. He’s the one who pushed it toward entertainment more, and less news. 

He’s the one who said, ‘Enough of those international correspondents, let’s just get people fighting on camera!’ Like you remember when CNN would just make us watch Trump’s empty podium for an hour? That was his choice. Zucker often kept Donald Trump on air, even before his election in 2016, because he liked Trump. Because he knew Trump was good for ratings, because Jeff Zucker is the one who gave Trump the job for The Apprentice, and The Apprentice is the only reason that Trump went on to become the president – agh!!! 

But the craziest part of the story, was how far the blast radius from former New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s scandals reached. So Andrew Cuomo was such a creep that he took down himself, his brother Chris and the president of CNN. He’s like Ronan Farrow but by accident.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know things are going south when even Mike Pompeo considers doing the right thing (Well done, Billy, well done)

November 2021

“Yesterday, President Biden signed his bipartisan infrastructure bill into law, and to tell everyone about it today, he kicked off a road show to showcase the benefits of the bill. It’s like ‘The Antiques Road Show’ if the road was the antique.” — Stephen Colbert

“And, guys, why do they have to sign the bill in public? I mean, I know this is important legislation, but as a spectator sport, it’s pretty boring. Where’s the drama? ‘Ooh, maybe the pen will run out of ink!’” —Trevor Noah

“Also, why are they even having a bill-signing celebration? Passing laws is their job. Nobody else gets to do that at their job. Like, after you make photocopies for your boss at the office, you don’t get to pose for pictures while shaking hands: [imitating boss] ‘I didn’t think you could get it double-sided. Well done, Billy, well done.’” —Trevor Noah

“In Jonathan Karl’s book Betrayal, Karl claimed that in the wake of the Capitol attack on January 6th, Trump cabinet members Mike Pompeo and Steve Mnuchin explored invoking the 25th amendment to remove him from office. You know things are going south when even Mike Pompeo considers doing the right thing.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Pompeo reportedly asked for an analysis of the 25th amendment and how it would work. He was very careful about it, he went to the White House legal department like ‘hey I have this friend … you don’t know him, anyway he was thinking about invoking the 25th amendment? And he was wondering, like, how that all works? And would his name be on it?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: "Isolate Unvaxxed From Society" says Noam Chomsky

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Are we air dropping Gary Busey into Syria? (I'll have to ask Larry King)

June 2013

"Actor Steven Seagal is now in Russia. He is meeting with Vladimir Putin. Is this what American foreign policy has come down to? Dennis Rodman is in North Korea. Steven Seagal is in Russia. What's next? Are we air dropping Gary Busey into Syria? Maybe Snooki goes to Iraq?" –Jay Leno

"President Obama says he is renewing his efforts to close Guantanamo Bay. How about closing the IRS? Why don't we do that? How about shipping the IRS to Guantanamo Bay?" –Jay Leno 

"This latest California wildfire is getting pretty scary. But Governor Jerry Brown has it under control. He said he is going to tax and regulate the fire until it gets fed up and moves to another state." –Jay Leno 

"In Pakistan, the Taliban's No. 2 man has been killed by an American drone. In a related story, today the Taliban's No. 3 man said he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno

"The Supreme Court ruled that police have the right to take DNA samples. Every time there's new technology in law enforcement, people get uneasy. I'm sure people were against fingerprinting when it started in the late 1800s. I'll have to ask Larry King. He was probably around then." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Noam Chomsky - Foundations of World Order: the UN, World Bank, IMF

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

then they spent a few hours just saying the word 'Hickenlooper' (Stop participating in it)

December 2012

"A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor's a Mayan. He says that to everybody." –Jay Leno

"The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts." –Jay Leno

"Yesterday, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper signed an amendment that officially legalized marijuana in the state. Stoners took a moment to thank Governor Hickenlooper — then they spent a few hours just saying the word 'Hickenlooper.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the rare book where they made the movie first (Rudolph the Red-Eyed Rat?)

June 2021

“The Senate dropped its 127-page report on Tuesday detailing security failures during the January 6th attack, the product of more than three months of interviews, hearings and the review of thousands of pages of documents. Of course, everyone saw it on TV as it happened on January 6, making this the rare book where they made the movie first.” —Stephen Colbert

“Because leadership did not take the threat seriously, the Capitol police were not prepared, including one officer’s testimony that he overheard a lieutenant repeatedly ask over the radio ‘does anybody have a plan?’ as rioters sieged the Capitol. Oh, somebody had a plan, and he sat in the Oval Office pounding a bucket of chicken while his followers carried it out.” —Stephen Colbert

“The report, however, bizarrely neglected to address any role played by the former president in fomenting the riot. He’s the whole reason the attack happened in the first place! That’s like talking about Christmas Eve and never mentioning Santa. Who did you leave the cookies and milk out for? Rudolph the Red-Eyed Rat?” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

most of them just stuffed their ballot into a toaster oven (turn your clocks back to 1954)

November 2012

"Mitt Romney is reminding everybody about changing your clocks. He's urging voters and all Americans on Saturday to turn your clocks back to 1954." –David Letterman 

"Good news for the Republicans: Once the polls close on Tuesday, they’ll be able to bring out Paul Ryan again. He’s been hiding with Mitt Romney's tax returns." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney criticized President Obama for making puns about his name like Romnesia. Then he said, it’s just an Obamanation." –Jimmy Fallon

"The election is four days away, and more than 2.7 million people in Florida have already cast their vote. Unfortunately, since it’s Florida most of them just stuffed their ballot into a toaster oven." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's like he took my million and spent it all on weed (Their job is to watch not to participate)

October 2012

"Obama's wedding anniversary was Wednesday and that was the same day as the debate. He apparently had the sex first and was completely spent, had nothing left." –Bill Maher

"Romney looked like the big winner, and Obama looked like the Big Lebowski." –Bill Maher

"Now we know what Romney looks like when he is all charged up. And now we know what Michael Jackson looks like on diprivan." –Bill Maher

"I'm sorry, Obama sucked. He looked tired. He had trouble getting his answers out. It's like he took my million and spent it all on weed." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

and another full day of spray tanning, and he'll be ready to go (The obedience of the U.S. media)

September 2012

"Here's another blow to the Romney campaign. Earlier today, that empty chair endorsed Obama" –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is doing what he can. He's trying very hard. He wants to unite America, the rich with the wealthy, the poor with the indigent, and the white with the Caucasian." –David Letterman

"The presidential debates begin on Wednesday. Romney has taken two days off to prepare. They're going to have practice debates. They're going to do that for two days, and another full day of spray tanning, and he'll be ready to go." –David Letterman

"These debates are tightly controlled. Each side, Obama and Romney, had to agree to 32 pages of rules. It's like being a Kardashian husband." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So this election could have a happy ending after all (Stop Participating In It)

August 2012

"Thank you for coming out on a hot day. The heat has not let up here. It was 109 today in Los Angeles. I was sweating like a Medicare patient at a Romney-Ryan rally." –Jay Leno

"It was so hot Joe Biden put his foot in his mouth just to cool it off." –Jay Leno

"Porn star Jenna Jameson has come out for Mitt Romney. So this election could have a happy ending after all." –Jay Leno

"Endorsed by Jenna Jameson; how is that possible? The Democrats are losing the porn star vote? Let me tell you, that would never have happened under Bill Clinton." –Jay Leno

"Donald Trump says he has a big surprise in store for everybody at the Republican National Convention this year - a surprise he says people will love. So apparently he's not going." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash (Media Obedience)

July 2012

"Speaking of Mitt Romney, I read that his campaign has raised $10 million in California over the last two days. One million was from a fundraiser while $9 million was from Romney checking a pocket in some old khakis." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going to be weird when they're announcing all the countries, and he's like 'Got a bank account there, got one there, two bank accounts there." –Jimmy Fallon

"The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Who knew George Bush was an alien (to look you in the eye during a sponge bath)

June 2012

"Sarah Palin said, 'Obama lies, freedom dies.' And then she and Todd got on their snowmobile, road across the tundra, shooting anything they want with a machine gun.' But freedom is dead." –Bill Maher

"What was really so hard for the conservatives to swallow was that Justice John Roberts was the one that did this. Gotta give it up to Justice John Roberts, that was a very studly move he made. But boy, for the conservatives, he was their hero. This is like they threw a big surprise party for their dad and they found him in bed with a black guy." –Bill Maher

"Whatever you think about Justice John Roberts, he is a serious jurist. His opinion ran 59 pages. Justice Ginsberg's opinion was 61 pages. The four dissenters, their opinion was 65 pages. Clarence Thomas -- 2 pages, and it was all about how nurses should have to look you in the eye during a sponge bath." –Bill Maher

"They shouldn’t be so sad, the Supreme Court also had a ruling this week that was somewhat in their favor. In the Arizona immigration case they did rule that the police can consider you suspicious down there if you have significant difficulty communicating in English. Who knew George Bush was an alien." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench? (the rabble is supposed to stay home)

February 2021

“The ongoing pandemic, its requisite social isolation and an uncertain economic environment have contributed to a real phenomenon of pandemic paranoia, according to experts. But that’s not paranoia, that’s normal human fear. If you cry at a birthday party when the clown comes out, that’s a phobia. If you’re one of the kids in It, it’s reasonable to avoid the sewer system.” —Stephen Colbert

“Also feeding the paranoia? Disinformation, such as the election fraud conspiracies and lies undergirding the January 6th assault of the US Capitol. To understand the root of the deadly riot, which killed five Capitol police officers, injured dozens more and threatened the lives of lawmakers, the Senate held investigative hearings on Tuesday. It was a dubious investigation, since the questioners included the Missouri senator Josh Hawley and the Texas senator Ted Cruz, who both supported challenging the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral victory. That’s like having a cannibalism trial presided over by Judge Hannibal Lecter. [Colbert as Hannibal Lecter] ‘Would the prosecution please slather themselves in honey mustard and approach the bench?’” —Stephen Colbert

“And beyond a lack of resources, there’s distrust of government medical advice rooted in decades of racist mistreatment, from pseudoscience to non-consensual medical research. This is why so many black people are suspicious of the medical community, because that community has betrayed them again, and again, and again. And you’re not gonna trust people who’ve betrayed you that many times – unless you’re Mike Pence. But unfortunately, this mistrust actually hurts black people, because these vaccines are safe. Believe me on this – white people would never let Martha Stewart get one if it was dangerous.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Obama's finally found an issue that can bring this country together (I think even Kanye agrees)

April 2012

"In an interview, once again President Obama called Kanye West a jackass. In other words, President Obama's finally found an issue that can bring this country together." –Conan O'Brien

"I believe that hardcore social conservatives, liberals, and everyone else is together on this one. I think even Kanye agrees." –Conan O'Brien

"Today Newt Gingrich is blaming the failure of his presidential campaign on Fox News. Newt's also blaming the failure of his diet on Cinnabon." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

 

Between you and me, it barely works any more (Sixty-three days, folks. Sixty-three more days)

November 2020

“The president is actively working to undermine our democracy, usurp the will of the people and hold on to power in violation of our Constitution. The good news? He’s really bad at it. The president is desperate to somehow throw out the votes for Biden, but like everything else in his administration, it’s a race between autocracy and incompetence, and with this crowd, incompetence is Usain Bolt.” —Stephen Colbert

“In Alaska, the home of the largest area of untouched wilderness in the US, Trump has moved to auction off drilling rights to the Arctic national wildlife refuge. At this point, Trump is just stripping America for parts. He’s just there in his yard being like, ‘throw in another $50 and I’ll give you the constitution. Between you and me, it barely works any more.’” —Trevor Noah

“The thinktank in Trumpland is empty. Everything is bogus – voting results, crowd size, witch-hunts, perfect calls, Dr Fauci, Rex Tillerson, John Kelly, John Bolton, Michael Bolton, Michael Cohen, windmills, caravans, they’re all against him. The deep state, Hillary’s emails, Pizzagate – every week there’s a new plot against Donald Trump. How much gas is left in this light already? Sixty-three days, folks. Sixty-three more days.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”