and it’s not even in the top 10 most embarrassing things to happen to you this week (extreme intelligence is not a medical term)

Things haven’t been going well for the president. Trump’s approval ratings have slipped to an all-time low, a judge ruled that Trump’s name had to be removed from the Kennedy Center and several artists are dropping out of Trump’s “state fair”. Imagine how badly things have to be going that the real Milli Vanilli publicly rejected you, and it’s not even in the top 10 most embarrassing things to happen to you this week. —Seth Meyers

Trump has been bragging about acing 4 straight “IQ” tests.  First of all, it’s a dementia test, not an IQ test. Second, ‘extreme intelligence’ is not a medical term. —Seth Meyers 

“This is the fundamental problem that Trump has faced his entire life. He brags about stuff that you wouldn’t have to brag about if the thing was actually true. You wouldn’t have to constantly insist to people that that you’re a big-brained genius if you actually were a genius. If everyone was walking around with affordable healthcare, cheap groceries and $2 gas, you could just sit back and spend the day picking drapes for your ballroom and applying concealer to your fucked-up Frankenstein hand. The president is using his office to enrich himself and his family, put his face on monuments and money, and set up a slush fund for his criminal supporters, all while waging a disastrous war that has made life harder for working Americans. There are lots of words you could use to describe it: ‘corrupt’, ‘incompetent’, ‘immoral’. But at the end of the day, there’s only one word that works best, and that’s the word ‘dumb’. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That will be your legacy, sir (this could be a game changer for Melania)

“President Trump has accomplished so much during his second term. He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir, breaking wind and passing gas.” —Jimmy Kimmel

Jokes aside, this was a big night for Trump. He absolutely loves being alongside the royals. And the idea that they have to kiss his ass is as bigly as it gets for him. The king, he laid it on thick. He came bearing exactly the kind of gift Trump loves to get, a big gold thing with his name on it. That would be a big golden bell, which Charles gifted the president at the state dinner. Unfortunately, the only bell Trump likes is the taco one. What if he starts wearing it? Jingling his way around the White House … could be a game changer for Melania at night! —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Frankenstein & Dracula were Union organizers (so enjoy your Golden Weeks!)

“Well, guys, the big story is today in Washington, members of both parties called for all of the Epstein files to be released, but President Trump once again called it a hoax. Yeah, Trump’s so desperate to change the subject, he was like, [imitating Trump] ‘Who wants to hear about me dying last week? Remember that?’” — Jimmy Fallon

Florida’s surgeon general announced yesterday that the state would no longer require vaccines for schoolchildren. That’s right, the state where we all send all of our grandparents is eliminating vaccines, so enjoy your Golden Weeks! — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Frankenstein with an ACL tear (and you never hear sh*t about the other 50 areas)

“Maga is trying to reconcile their loyalty to Trump and their demand to see the Epstein files,” as Trump lashes out at Republicans asking for more information, such as Kentucky representative Thomas Massie, who introduced a House resolution ordering the justice department and the FBI to release “all unclassified records, documents, communications, and investigative materials” in their possession. Trump blasted Massie online, calling him “lazy and slow-moving” – which are obviously the most accurate ways to describe Donald Trump. He moves like his entire diet consists of eucalyptus leaves. Even a Trump fan can’t deny that he lumbers like Frankenstein with an ACL tear. —Seth Meyers

“Trump is so scared of whatever is in those files, the Republicans have decided that instead of voting, they should just all go home. The House speaker, Mike Johnson, sent Congress home on an early summer recess to avoid any vote on the issue. The more you try to hide something, the more people want to see what it is. That’s why people still talk about Area 51, and you never hear shit about the other 50 areas.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But keep in mind, 90 minutes of that was just them struggling to stand up? (Helping people stay alive)

On Wednesday, Donald Trump nominated Matt Gaetz for attorney general, and Gaetz said the same thing he does when he sees a teenage girl. I'll do it. —Colin Jost

Matt Gaetz, who was created when Frankenstein r*ped Dracula, was chosen for attorney general after Trump remembered that his original pick, Jeffrey Epstein, was found dead in a jail cell. —Colin Jost

President Biden and Donald Trump, seen here burning the last of their classified documents, met at the White House for almost two hours. But keep in mind, 90 minutes of that was just them struggling to stand up? —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is that coffee I smell? (p*rn star spanky)

On Tuesday, Donald Trump posted a $175 million bond so he could appeal his $454 million fraud judgment after a weeks-long search for someone to put up the cash. That company? Knight Specialty Insurance, which is run by CEO Don Hankey, the so-called “king of subprime car loans”. Hankey explained his reason for giving Trump the money as: “I heard that he needed a loan … and this is what we do.” Yes, this is what they do. You know their slogan: ‘Turned down by the banky? Don’t get so cranky! Call me, Don Hankey. You’ll say, why, thanky! Don, good luck with the case about the porn star spanky.’” —Stephen Colbert

Still, between the $175 million Trump put up in this case and the $91 million in the E Jean Carroll case, Trump somehow posted way less money this week than he lost on Wall Street, as Truth Social reportedly lost $4 billion in value after SEC documents revealed the social media company was hemorrhaging money. Wow, I am actually surprised that Truth Social had value. The stock opened on Tuesday at $48.66 a share, down 39% from its high of $79.38 a week ago. Truly, an historic failure. No one has seen a loss this big since the Trump Taj Mahal, the Trump Hotel, Trump steaks, Trump airlines, Trump University and Trump, Eric. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Our show is so dead, he’s going to bury it next to his ex-wife at one of his golf courses (Come on, man, my feet are in this one!)

November 2022

“There is a tight Senate race in Pennsylvania, where celebrity doctor-turned-Trump acolyte Mehmet Oz squared off against the lieutenant governor, John Fetterman. Over the weekend, the woman responsible for Oz’s television career, Oprah, endorsed his rival. That’s always how it goes, people: at some point in life, you have to kill the monster you create. Dr. Frankenstein and his creature, Obi Wan and Anakin, parents and their kids.” —Trevor Noah

“Democrats are nervous right now, because they’ve got a lot stacked up against them in this election. Inflation is high, crime is up, pickleball is taking over for some reason, and all of that is sending Democrats into full-on panic mode. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. Here is President Biden at a campaign stop in, of all states, New York, where Governor Kathy Hochul is running an unexpectedly tight race against state congressman Lee Zeldin. That’s how bleak it is looking for Democrats right now: they’re scrambling to salvage a governor’s race in New York. Which is crazy! New York is supposed to be a given for the Democrats. This is like having to beg your stalker to like one of your posts on Instagram – ‘Come on, man, my feet are in this one!’” —Trevor Noah

“Over the weekend Donald Trump said that my show was ‘dead’. Our show is so dead, he’s going to bury it next to his ex-wife at one of his golf courses. You know what’s dead? All those endangered animals your chinless son shot. You know what’s dead? The look in your wife’s eyes when you beg her for sex on your birthday.” —Jimmy Kimmel

 

the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania (This is like if O.J. had been turned in by his gloves)

October 2022

“The House January 6th committee’s 10th and potentially final public hearing was on Thursday, which felt a lot like Game of Thrones coming back but instead of dragons roasting people alive, Liz Cheney was doing it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“A lot of the evidence in these hearings came from Trump’s inner circle. This is like if O.J. had been turned in by his gloves.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Among the evidence presented on Thursday was video testimony from former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson. According to Hutchinson, Donald Trump was well aware that he lost the 2020 election, telling chief of staff Mark Meadows: ‘I don’t want people to know we lost, Mark, this is embarrassing.’ Is that more embarrassing than continuing to say you won an election two years after you lost that election? Man, did his parents do a number on him.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The committee also presented audio of Trump aides Steve Bannon and Roger Stone baldly stating plans to discredit the election before the results were known. After seeing all this evidence, it’s crazy that the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And today Bill Clinton said, "Good answer, good answer." (You know what that means? We're all going to jail.)

 

"Today Warren Buffett announced he's giving away his multi-billion dollar fortune to charity rather than leaving it to his kids. He said he doesn't believe someone's son should inherit his father's position in society. Today President Bush had him put under surveillance." --Jay Leno

 

"The Bush administration is asking Google to turn over all its records in a porn investigation. They want to know who has been using Google to look up pornography. You know what that means? We're all going to jail." --Jay Leno

"As I'm sure you know by now, Patrick Kennedy blamed this whole incident on a sleep medication he was taking. That's what he said, he said he couldn't remember getting out of bed in the middle of the night and leaving his home. And today Bill Clinton said, "Good answer, good answer." --Jay Leno

"John McCain said again today that the fundamentals of our economy are still sound. The fundamentals of our economy are still sound. To which O.J. Simpson said, 'Hey, is it too late to get him on the jury?'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

During the 21-gun salute, Dick Cheney returned fire (Fire Bad)

 

"Actually, one awkward moment today in Washington. During the 21-gun salute, Dick Cheney returned fire." --Jay Leno

 

"Yesterday was Barack Obama's birthday. I believe he turned a little to the right, if I'm not mistaken." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said today his plan to fight terrorism is simple and straightforward -- go after the evildoers, track them down, find out where they're hiding and then sell them our seaports." --Jay Leno

 

"Congress is furious. They want to know, how come these oil company profits are so high, but the money they receive under the table remains the same. This has got to change!" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Flying monkeys and a witch (There were three Spidermen in it!)

February 2022

“I am taking issue with the 2022 Oscar nominations that were announced on Tuesday morning, which did not include a nod for last year’s biggest blockbuster, Spider-Man: No Way Home. How did that not get one of the ten nominations for best picture? There were only 11 movies made this year Forget the fact that the movie made $750m and is still going – this is a great movie. It wasn’t in the top 10 best movies of the year? There were three Spidermen in it!” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I am particularly annoyed that Spider-Man, starring Tom Holland and Zendaya, was snubbed in favor of such ‘serious’ movies as Don’t Look Up, a darkly comic parable for climate emergency directed by Adam McKay. You’re telling me Don’t Look Up was better than Spider-Man? It most certainly was not. When did we decide that the best picture has to be serious? As far as I know, this was not the point of feature film when they started making them. Ben-Hur? Chariots and leprosy. Frankenstein? A monster powered by lightning. Fantasia? Mickey Mouse on an acid trip. The Wizard of Oz? Flying monkeys and a witch. These are great Oscar-worthy movies!” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Now, there’s nothing wrong with a serious movie, a lot of them are fantastic and worthy of Oscars. But why do they have to be serious, is what I’m saying. When did that become a prerequisite for getting nominated for an Academy Award? Here’s what happened. The Academy voters, they looked at the list, they saw the names Leo DiCaprio and Meryl Streep, they checked that box, and then they put their kids in the car and they went to see the movie Spider-Man, and they loved it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It feels like Dr Frankenstein breaking up with Igor (Veterans of Future Wars)

January 2021

“Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani, have reportedly fallen out over legal fees. These two were inseparable, and now it’s come to this? It feels like Dr Frankenstein breaking up with Igor. Giuliani was reportedly blindsided by the decision – although when you have hair dye constantly leaking into your eyes, it’s hard to see anything coming. Trump has now instructed aides to route all requests – Giuliani reportedly charged $20k per day for his legal services – and travel expenses through him first for approval. That’s great, the president spending his last days in office going over receipts like he’s Janice from accounting.” —Jimmy Fallon

“With Giuliani gone from his orbit, Trump is more lonely than ever. Trump can’t even go to his own bathroom without getting depressed. His hair dye reminds him of Rudy Giuliani, his Q-tips remind him of Mike Pence, and his toilet reminds him of Twitter.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He said he’s shaken, but not stirred (40,000 pounds of vodka)

Last night Kim Jong Un released a rare statement attacking President Trump and referred to him as a dotard. Then Trump said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words I don’t know will never hurt me.” –Jimmy Fallon

This week, a truck carrying 40,000 pounds of vodka overturned in North Carolina. The driver is fine. He said he’s shaken, but not stirred. –Jimmy Fallon

Pretty sick burn on our president, to which I have to say: Knock it off, North Korea. You are not allowed to insult OUR leader like that. Sure, I’ve had my problems with President Trump, such as everything he has said and done. But I’m not going to stand here as an American and let somebody from another country talk smack about our president! WE can do it, OK? Membership has its privileges. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans