A
lot of people are talking about Donald Trump and Russia now. And not just
because of how much he resembles Russian dressing. –Stephen Colbert
This
entire campaign, Trump's made us forget about his crazy statements by saying
something even crazier. It's the like the old woman who swallowed a fly, only
Trump would never be seen with an older woman. –Stephen Colbert
The
2016 Rio games start Friday, and there are some concerns. Athletes swimming in
the heavily polluted Guanabara Bay have been warned by health experts to keep
their mouths closed in the toxic stew. OK? Mouths closed. Or heads out of the
water. I can't wait to see who takes home the gold in the Olympic doggie paddle.
–Stephen Colbert
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