First choice? Invade Wall Street (Stop pointing out our lies and hypocrisy!)

Hillary Clinton taped the 'Tyra Banks Show,' which will air, I guess, on Friday. Tyra asked Hillary if she could be on a reality show, which reality show would she like to be on. Hillary said 'Dancing With The Stars.' If Barack Obama keeps doing well, she can be on that show sooner than she thinks." --Jay Leno

"Last night in Florida, the Gators got a congratulatory phone call from President Bush. And UCLA shot so badly they got a phone call from Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"President Bush announced today that he will be working with Congress to use hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to restore confidence in the market. Actually, that was Bush's second choice to fix the problem. First choice? Invade Wall Street." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the new Bush presidential library just purchased its first 800,000 books (Solving the labor shortage in America)

"According to a new poll, more Americans would like to have Thanksgiving dinner with Hillary Clinton than with Sarah Palin. That's what the poll said. Yeah. Mainly because no one wants to eat elk pie." –Conan O'Brien

"The ratings just came in for Sarah Palin's appearance on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show.' It earned Oprah her highest ratings since the episode where she reunited the Osmond family. Yeah, viewers who saw both episodes say Palin's more likable but that Donny and Marie are more qualified to be president." –Conan O'Brien

"Former President George W. Bush's new memoir has already sold 800,000 copies. In other news, the new Bush presidential library just purchased its first 800,000 books." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, that should answer the question of whether he's black enough (Today, President Clinton said, 'This means the terrorists have won.')

 

"As you know, Barack Obama's slogan is 'Yes We Can,' Hillary's new slogan, 'No, You Can't." Well did you hear about this? In a stunning announcement, Hillary Clinton is now telling people that she may want her delegates to vote at the convention for her. She hasn't given up yet. She's like Freddy Krueger in 'Nightmare on Elm Street.' It's back!" --Jay Leno

"In an interview in People magazine, Barack Obama said he was more a fan of Sonny and Cher than he was a fan of Donny and Marie. Well, that should answer the question of whether he's black enough." –Jay Leno

"After a three-year run, Hooters Airlines announced it's calling it quits, closing its doors. Today, President Clinton said, 'This means the terrorists have won.'" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don Fardon - I'm Alive (1969)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Deadbeats - She Don't Love Me (1966)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

The bad news? He can't remember where he put it. (Don't ask him, Don't tell him policy)

 

"Well, John McCain's daughter is now writing a children's book based on her father's life. See, the research has been difficult because, as you know, much of McCain's early life story is only available through folklore. So there's not much written down." --Jay Leno

 

"British scientists are now conducting new tests on the Shroud of Turin. They're trying to pinpoint exactly how old it is. They say if these tests are successful, one day they might be able to determine the exact age of John McCain." --Jay Leno

"Well the good news: John McCain raised $47 million in the month of August. The bad news? He can't remember where he put it." --Jay Leno

 

"Let's see what's happening with George Dubai -- I mean W. Bush. President Bush now says he didn't know about the Dubai port deal until after it was approved. Apparently this is part of the White House's 'Don't ask him, Don't tell him' policy." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out it was his pastor (It pays like $5,000 an hour)

 

"As I'm sure you know by now, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has admitted that he was involved in a prostitution ring. Now this is the same man who when he was attorney general went after the prostitution ring. So apparently, it was for not giving him good service." –Jay Leno

"Do you know what the highest paid government position in this country is? Anybody know? It is working under New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. It pays like $5,000 an hour." --Jay Leno

"President Bush also went on to say that Bear Stearns is just going through a tough time and victory's just around the corner. I don't want to say Wall Street is in financial trouble. You know who's in charge of Bear Stearns right now, you know who's running it? Britney Spears' dad." --Jay Leno

"As you know, yesterday, Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one heckler in the audience, who kept screaming crazy stuff the whole time. Turns out it was his pastor." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”