he’s about to have the bank account of a young Brad Pitt (never got around to it)

In California, two women have been arrested for holding a group of men hostage and making them work for several months on a marijuana farm. The men said they wanted to escape but they never got around to it. –Conan O’Brien

It’s rumored that Brad Pitt had been cheating on Angelina Jolie with an actress who looks like a young Angelina Jolie. As a result, he’s about to have the bank account of a young Brad Pitt. –Conan O’Brien

President Barack Obama appeared before the U.N. General Assembly for the final time in his presidency to announce that the U.S. would be admitting 110,000 refugees in the coming year. Now the refugees will include people fleeing dangerous places like Syria, Libya, Florida. This might sound like a lot of people, 110,000 people are coming in, but you’ve got to remember millions will be fleeing if Trump is elected. –James Corden

Hillary will be featured in “Bad Timing” magazine (chances are you’ve got a problem)

Hillary Clinton is featured in the upcoming issue of Women’s Health magazine. While next month she’ll be featured in “Bad Timing” magazine. –Jimmy Fallon

A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think you’re less drunk than if you’re around other drunk people. And if you’re drunk around sober people, chances are you’ve got a problem. –Jimmy Fallon

The White House has announced that America will accept 110,000 refugees next year. Meanwhile, Canada announced if Donald Trump wins, they’ll accept 110 million refugees. –Conan O’Brien