you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis (unless I'm naked/superpowers)

Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis. –Conan O’Brien

"Moammar Gadhafi made an appearance on television to prove that he is still alive. When he saw this, Larry King said, 'That proves nothing. I died 60 years ago.'" –Conan O'Brien

The producers of the X-Men movies say their next X-Men movie will take place in the 1990s. In it, the X-Men use their superpowers to try and stop the Backstreet Boys. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Meanwhile, Wonder Man made $121 million for doing the same job (Help! My Dad’s a Nectarine!)

“Wonder Woman” made $100 million at the box office this weekend. Meanwhile, Wonder Man made $121 million for doing the same job. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump is continuing to draw criticism for his claims that Judge Gonzalo Curiel's Mexican heritage makes him unfit to preside over a lawsuit against Trump University, despite the fact that Curiel was born and raised in Indiana. And when Trump found that out, he said, "Oh, no, he's an Indian, too?" –Seth Meyers

Two Papa John’s employees in Washington State were arrested this week for allegedly delivering cocaine in pizza boxes. Authorities became suspicious when Papa John’s started getting five-star Yelp reviews that were 47 paragraphs long. –Seth Meyers

It is being reported that Ivanka Trump is writing a book titled “Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules of Success.” Which is better than the original title, “Help! My Dad’s a Nectarine!” –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's called comparison shopping

"According to a new poll, over 50 percent of New Yorkers say they won't vote for Anthony Weiner no matter what. The other 50 percent say they're going to wait until they see all the other candidates' penises. It's called comparison shopping." –Conan O'Brien 



"According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found most women would occasionally like to be paid as much as men for doing the same job." –Conan O'Brien



"Some park rangers in California found a plot on which someone grew 500,000 pounds of marijuana. They assume this pot was grown by humans, but I wouldn't rule out bears. Think about it: They sleep three months a year, all you ever see them doing is rummaging through the trash trying to find food, and their leader's name is Smokey." –Jimmy Kimmel