“Today is Halloween, and the House of Representatives passed a resolution that formalized the impeachment inquiry into President Trump. In other words: Boo.” --Seth Meyers
“Minutes after the House voted to start the investigation, the White House denounced the process as, ‘a blatantly partisan attempt to destroy the president.’ And then Democrats were like, ‘Yeah, pretty much.’” --James Corden
“We’re one step closer to getting Trump out of the White House and sending him home to New York City — oh. Quick! Quick! Somebody lock the Lincoln Tunnel and turn out the lights. Everybody on the floor. We’re not home!” --Stephen Colbert
“Now, before you get too excited, please remember that this is just a vote to define the rules for the process of impeachment, all right? They still have to vote on impeachment. Then they vote on the rules for the impeachment trial. Then they vote on whether or not to convict. Yeah, by the time this is over, the Democrats are going to march into the White House, like, ‘Mr. Trump? Wait, where’s Trump? What happened?’ And the woman will be like ‘His term ended 20 years ago.’ ‘Oh, we’re so sorry to bother you, President Kim Kardashian.’” --Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
