Oh look, it’s the garbage’s birthday! (Jimmy Buffett was never this relaxed)

In one of several interviews after his conviction for multiple election fraud felonies last week, Donald Trump said that the trial was tougher on his family than it was on him. Yeah, no kidding. Not only did it not keep you up at night, it didn’t keep you up during the day. Jimmy Buffett was never this relaxed. —Seth Meyers

There are new tensions between North and South Korea; in response to pamphlets critical of Kim Jong-un dropped by South Korea in North Korea, Pyongyang sent balloons filled with cigarette butts, scraps of paper and other trash. This is like what neighbors in Staten Island do to each other. This is one of the most juvenile international disputes of all time. If North Korea sent a thousand trash balloons to LA, we’d have no idea – ‘Oh look, it’s the garbage’s birthday!’ —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's true, now hand me another golden sausage (Warren Buffet may have to move in with his cousin Jimmy Buffet)

"I'm not a political expert, but I think going after the rich is a good idea in an election year, or any other year for that matter. Because let's face it, rich people are bastards. Even rich people would agree with that. They're like, 'It's true, now hand me another golden sausage.'"  –Craig Ferguson

"So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet." –Craig Ferguson

"The new taxes are going to put rich people in a very tough spot. Paris Hilton may have to carry her own cocaine. Donald Trump may have to fire the guy who trims that thing on his head. Warren Buffet may have to move in with his cousin Jimmy Buffet." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Jeb Bush spent the night home crying (Pence dispenser)

The only thing more confusing than Pokémon Go is the Republican National Convention, which is under way in Cleveland. They say there haven't been this many white people at the Quicken Loans Arena since the night they double-booked Jimmy Buffett and Kenny G. –Jimmy Kimmel

A number of key Republicans are skipping the convention. Jeb Bush, instead of traveling to Cleveland, spent the night home crying. –Jimmy Kimmel

Apparently Trump was unsure about the guy he was choosing for vice president all the way down to the wire. They say he wanted to dump Gov. Mike Pence at midnight the night before the announcement — which would have made him a Pence dispenser. –Jimmy Kimmel