Thank goodness for coke dealers (What have you done with Eisenhower?)

"General Motors announced that they are out of bankruptcy after selling nearly 10,000 Camaros. At a press conference, the head of GM said, 'Thank goodness for coke dealers.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday at the White House, President Obama took part in an online Q & A session with a group of senior citizens. The most common question the seniors asked Obama was, 'What have you done with Eisenhower?'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's not what it looks like (I’ve ALWAYS had this hat)

Former President George W. Bush yesterday spoke to voters on his brother’s behalf, and told them “one reason Jeb is going to win is because he’s a fierce competitor.” Adding, “And one reason he’s going to lose is because of me." –Seth Meyers

The New York Mets are in the World Series! Which means a lot of New Yorkers are going to stand in front of a mirror today and practice saying, “I’ve ALWAYS had this hat.” –Seth Meyers

Mountain goats in Washington state are being airlifted out of Olympic National Park after their population developed a craving for human urine. Said the scientist who made the discovery, "It's not what it looks like." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one (Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT)

February 2023

As the transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, finally visited the site of the devastating toxic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio, nearly three weeks after the disaster. Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT.” —Stephen Colbert

“And it looks like Buttigieg knows he acted slowly, as the transportation secretary admitted to reporters that he ‘could have spoken out sooner’.  Adding, ‘And I would’ve been here earlier but traffic was a mess, trains are a disaster, all the flights were cancelled – someone should really deal with this country’s transportation!’” —Stephen Colbert

“Fox News, it’s important to give them their props when they deserve it. And here’s the thing: it’s a 24-hour news channel, and that can be hard to fill. We salute their ability to just invent outrage out of absolutely nothing on a slow news day. This week, the network dug down deep, tossed aside any last scraps of journalistic integrity, and yanked out a new dumb thing to pretend to be mad at. And because I also need something to talk about every night, I’m going to pretend to be mad at them for pretending to be mad about it. The latest invented controversy? New Lego characters with different skin tones, limb differences and disabilities, or as Fox News put it: ‘Lego is going woke!’ I don’t know why Fox is so upset about seeing representation in Legos. After all, I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”