Halfway into the film James Bond is shot in the face by Dick Cheney (Goodbye license to kill)

Have you folks seen the new James Bond movie Casino Royale. The new James Bond is a man named Daniel Craig. I wonder if they even looked at my audition tape. --David Letterman 11/17/2006

Do you like the video games? Well guess what, Sony's PlayStation 3 came out today. Finally some good news for George Bush. --David Letterman 11/17/2006

Top Ten Signs You're Watching a Bad James Bond Movie (11/17/2006)

10. Now asks everyone to call him Jimbo

9. The villains private lair is the corner booth at a Pizzeria Uno

8. It's set backstage of Saturday Night Live number

7. The Aston Martin won't start so Bond drives a 95 Ford Focus

6. It's about Dr. No’s more evil brother Dr. Phil

5. The most impressive gadget a clock that's also a radio

4. Bond’s new catchphrase is Get er Done

3. Goodbye license to kill, hello license to inspect meat

2. Soundtrack by Kevin Federline

1.  Halfway into the film James Bond is shot in the face by Dick Cheney

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

an excuse for parents to shove their kid down a hill without Child Protective Services getting involved (Bond, James Bond)

First up, sledding. Hey, sledding, you combine my two favorite things -- having my legs broken and being at the bottom of a massive hill with broken legs. Let's be real. Sledding is just an excuse for parents to shove their kid down a hill without Child Protective Services getting involved. --Seth Meyers

Bethlehem innkeepers. Where do you get off turning away a pregnant woman? You're lucky Yelp wasn't around during the time of the Bible, or you would've been savaged. Also, you sent them to the manger?! Here is a tidbit of common decency. If you run an inn and a woman needs to give birth, maybe do better than the shack where your goats eat. It's disgusting, and that's coming from a guy whose wife gave birth in the lobby of a New York City apartment building. True story! --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's the worst banana I've ever tasted (Moron, F***ing Moron)

This week the Bush campaign unveiled its new campaign slogan. the new slogan is, “We've turned the corner and we're not turning back.” This replaces their old slogan, “Do what Dick Cheney says and nobody gets hurt.” --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

Yesterday President Bush tried to appeal to voters in Iowa by peeling a raw ear of corn and eating it. Afterwards Bush said, “That's the worst banana I've ever tasted.” --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

The Israeli army is now treating combat stress by giving it soldiers marijuana. as a result Nabisco is expecting a huge spike in the sale of kosher Oreos. --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”