That's why Leslie Stahl's dating a Galapagos tortoise (It goes up to 100% if we deport Carrot Top)

So as divorce rumors swirl, Barack and Michelle Obama were spotted on a swanky date night in NYC. To avoid any public displays of affection that might be caught by paparazzi, they went with each other. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a new study women like to date younger partners just as much as men do. That's why Leslie Stahl's dating a Galapagos tortoise. —Greg Gutfeld

For the first time in roughly 20 years half the country believes the United States is on the right track. It goes up to 100% if we deport Carrot Top. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now, I'm not a mathematician, but I believe that's a total of 3 whores, right? (You know who is in fourth place? Carrot Top.)

"Governor Schwarzenegger said if he comes back to California, there should be no special treatment for Roman Polanski. I think that's what he said. It was that or 'I'm going to Japan to ski.' I don't know what he said." --Jay Leno

"According to polls, Rick Perry has now fallen to fifth place. You know who is in fourth place? Carrot Top." –Jay Leno

"Yet another family values Republican has been caught in a sex scandal. I love this story: This time, California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (the guy is married) was caught on tape bragging having sex with two different lobbyists. A politician having sex with two lobbyists. Now, I'm not a mathematician, but I believe that's a total of 3 whores, right?" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know who is in fourth place? Carrot Top.

"Rick Perry is now behind in the polls and he's not taking it well. Today he executed his pollster." –David Letterman





"A couple of days ago they found (Moammar Gadhafi) hiding in a storm sewer, and they pulled him out and killed him. In three years, he would have been eligible for his pension! Yep and he left his entire wardrobe to Lady Gaga." –David Letterman 



"Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all better be praying. She doesn’t have to lead us." –Jay Leno



"According to polls, Rick Perry has now fallen to fifth place. You know who is in fourth place? Carrot Top." –Jay Leno 

John Hulse painting

They're using the same wood that they used to build Mitt Romney

"Our guests on the show are Dick Cheney and Carrot Top. That's what happens when you let Match.com pick the guests." –Jay Leno



"Apparently, Mitt Romney is planning to build a huge addition onto his beach house in California. And here's the cool part: They're using the same wood that they used to build Mitt Romney." –Jimmy Fallon



"A woman in Alaska punched a bear in the face after it threatened her dog. Or as Sarah Palin put it, 'Teach me, sensei.'" –Jimmy Fallon 

John Hulse painting