“President Biden referred this week to Vladimir Putin, Russia’s leader, as a ‘war criminal,’ and a Kremlin spokesman responded by saying the statement was unfair and hypocritical, citing the United States’ bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II. Seriously, Russia, you’re gonna bring up something America did in the ’40s? America has committed plenty of war crimes since then. Keep up with the times, yo!” —Trevor Noah
“And just because America committed war crimes doesn’t mean you have to as well, Vladimir Putin. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it, too? No, seriously, would you? I’m just brainstorming ways to end this whole thing.” —Trevor Noah
“In other Russia news, pharmaceutical companies stopped shipping non-essential drugs to Russia, including Botox, which is interesting, because Vladimir Putin is widely rumored to use Botox. They’re just rumors, but based on one photograph he absolutely, 100% does. It’s like a real housewife of St Petersburg. What a weird time for Russians: their assets are frozen but their foreheads are not.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“In case you forgot, 2019 is when then-president Trump spoke to Volodymyr Zelensky on the phone and threatened to withhold military aid unless the Ukrainian president provided him a political favor; the call underpinned Trump’s first impeachment trial. Yet in a speech this week, the House minority leader, Kevin McCarthy, blamed Biden for holding up aid to Ukraine. Are you for real? Does your cable package not have History Channel: Stuff That Happened Three Years Ago? You’re saying Biden is the one who should’ve given Ukraine the aid sooner? The guy you supported tried to extort Ukraine like a mob boss counting singles in the back room of a strip club.” —Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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