Adult film star Stormy Daniels sued President Trump yesterday, alleging that their nondisclosure agreement is not valid because he never signed it. And that sound you just heard was Melania dumping out her desk drawer, looking for the marriage certificate. "Maybe he didn't, maybe he didn't, maybe he didn't, maybe he didn't… Awwww!" --Seth Meyers
Law experts are saying that some of the language in adult film star Stormy Daniels' nondisclosure agreement suggests that she may have some lurid photos that were taken during their sexual encounters. Said Trump, "Fake nudes!" --Seth Meyers
Wildlife experts are reportedly puzzled as to why a pair of bald eagles at the National Arboretum, named Mr. President and The First Lady, have not yet laid an egg this spring. Though they haven't really been getting along since Mr. President had that affair with Storky Daniels. --Seth Meyers
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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