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Friday, February 16, 2018

If anybody messes with my Nobel Peace Prize, I will f them up (the Crusades, the Inquisition, guitar mass)



"Listen to what Mr. Romney said on '60 Minutes' about his church's history [on screen: Romney saying that he 'cannot imagine anything more awful than polygamy']. Really? You can't think of anything more awful than multiple wives? What if one of those wives was a minotaur? What if it was gay polygamy, and they're all dudes? Or what if they were gay minotaurs? Mr. Romney, presidents can't have a failure of imagination. Point is you should not apologize for your religion. You don't see me apologizing for what Catholics did in the past -- the Crusades, the Inquisition, guitar mass." --Stephen Colbert

"Over the weekend in the West Bank, Palestinian gunmen overtook the former home of Yasser Arafat and stole his Nobel Peace Prize. After hearing about it, the Dalai Lama said, 'If anybody messes with my Nobel Peace Prize, I will f them up.'" --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.



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