Bush's Press Secretary resigned so he could spend more time with his conscience

At his press conference today, Donald Trump said America will build the border wall and then be reimbursed by Mexico. The invoice will be submitted to Mexico’s Department of “In Your Dreams, Pendejo.” –Conan O’Brien

In a tweet today, Donald Trump compared the way he’s been treated to Nazi Germany. Which is unfair, because everyone knows Hitler won his election without the help of the Russians. –Conan O’Brien

In his farewell speech, President Obama said being a father to his daughters was his proudest achievement. In response, Donald Trump said being a father to his daughter is the reason he’s not allowed to date her. –Conan O’Brien