It's the goodest news they have heard all year

"House Speaker John Boehner called NSA's Edward Snowden a traitor. But only because he leaked the name of his tanning bed." –Conan O'Brien



"Marco Rubio announced a new bill that would require immigrants to learn English to become citizens. Many Americans already say it's the goodest news they have heard all year." –Conan O'Brien

"Due to the government spy scandal, sales of the classic George Orwell book '1984' have skyrocketed. So the fallout is worse than we thought. It's making Americans read." –Conan O'Brien