so strong you won't be able to see straight (prom season)

The Supreme Court temporarily restored mail-order access to abortion pills, citing prom season. —Michael Che

President Trump dismissed weapons fire between the U.S. and Iran as a "love tap." He also called gas prices "gentle sodomy.” —Michael Che

FBI Director Kash Patel has reportedly been giving out bottles of his personalized whiskey to FBI staff. Kash Patel Whiskey -- so strong you won't be able to see straight. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

but that just got them more excited (aged whiskey)

Residents of a town in Missouri this week are complaining about the creation of a “bondage club” that operates next door to a church. The town filed a restraining order, but that just got them more excited. –Seth Meyers

A start-up in San Francisco has developed a way to make an aged whiskey in just 24 hours. They just put the whiskey in a bottle and put the bottle in front of CNN. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Lawmakers in Jamaica are considering a bill to legalize marijuana (The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks)

"Lawmakers in Jamaica are now considering a bill that would legalize marijuana. Let me repeat myself: Lawmakers in Jamaica are considering a bill to legalize marijuana. In related news, lawmakers in Italy are considering a bill to legalize spaghetti, and lawmakers in Ireland are considering a bill to legalize whiskey." –Jimmy Fallon

"Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. (cry closets)

Apparently, the library at the University of Utah has installed what they're calling a "Cry Closet." This is exactly what it sounds like. I promise this is true. It's a closet where stressed-out students can go to cry. Because there's nothing more comforting than being trapped in a tiny dark box. It's going to be a shock when those students graduate. Take it from me, there are no "Cry Closets" out here in the real world. You will have to use your car in the McDonald's parking lot like the rest of us. --James Corden

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In a related story Kamala Harris just bought a fake ID (Well I could always use a translator)

Fireball Whiskey is offering a chance to win a lifetime supply of their product to people over 90. In a related story Kamala Harris just bought a fake ID. —Greg Gutfeld

A naked woman was seen running around Dallas Fort Worth airport yelling “I speak all languages." "Well I could always use a translator," said Bill Clinton. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They just put the whiskey in a bottle and put the bottle in front of CNN (That can be cured)

A start-up in San Francisco has developed a way to make an aged whiskey in just 24 hours. They just put the whiskey in a bottle and put the bottle in front of CNN. --Seth Meyers

Donald Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway told reporters today that Donald Trump is a huge Elton John fan. “That can be cured,” said Mike Pence. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m (he must taste delicious)

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

A 20-year-old man from Colorado recently survived a shark bite in Hawaii. Less than a year before that, he was attacked by a 300-pound black bear. And a few years before that, he was bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. Based on these incidents, we do know a lot about this man. For example, he must taste delicious.  --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You Don't Hate Mondays (aged whiskey)

President Trump tweeted this morning that NFL stadiums are having a very hard time filling up due to recent national anthem protests. "Yes, that's why," said the Cleveland Browns. –Seth Meyers

A start-up in San Francisco has developed a way to make an aged whiskey in just 24 hours. They just put the whiskey in a bottle and put the bottle in front of CNN. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's going to take part in the ceremonial ribbon shooting (George W. Bush Institute for Pretzel Safety)

"The University of Wyoming will open the new Dick Cheney Center for International Students. Cheney is planning on attending. He's going to take part in the ceremonial ribbon shooting." --Jimmy Fallon

"The Dick Cheney Center for International Students. It's just two buildings over from the George W. Bush Institute for Pretzel Safety." --Jimmy Fallon

The nominees for this year’s CMAs were announced yesterday. And they include country music superstars like Kenny Chesney, Luke Bryan, Garth Brooks, whiskey, beer, trucks, and divorce. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

There must be a cheaper way to find the worst people in Society (she asked her staff to schedule 15 seconds of smiling)

"Senator John McCain actually tweeted to Snooki from 'Jersey Shore,' an MTV program, after she complained about the tanning bed tax in the new health care law. But, unfortunately, Snooki never got the message because McCain tweeted it off his electric razor." –Jimmy Fallon

"Lawmakers in Jamaica are now considering a bill that would legalize marijuana. Let me repeat myself: Lawmakers in Jamaica are considering a bill to legalize marijuana. In related news, lawmakers in Italy are considering a bill to legalize spaghetti, and lawmakers in Ireland are considering a bill to legalize whiskey." –Jimmy Fallon

It's being reported that Hillary Clinton now has enough delegates to secure the Democratic nomination. Hillary was so excited when she found out she asked her staff to schedule 15 seconds of smiling. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They have a very strict “28 strikes and you’re out” policy (the world’s most successful DUI checkpoint)

The nation’s first drive-through marijuana dispensary is opening tomorrow in Colorado. Also, down the street will be the world’s most successful DUI checkpoint. –James Corden

In addition to being cable’s top rated host, Bill O’Reilly has written a number of best-selling books including “Killing Lincoln,” “Killing Reagan,” and “Killing Kennedy.” And I really look forward to his next book, “Killing Time at Home.” –James Corden

One person who hasn’t had a great day is Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly, who has been fired from the network after years of multimillion-dollar sexual harassment suits. I mean Fox News had no choice. They have a very strict “28 strikes and you’re out” policy. –James Corden

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Or as President Bush calls it three SpongeBob's (I'm Michael Jackson's father!)

Last night was the first the very first presidential debate and it lasted a full 90 minutes. Or as President Bush calls it three SpongeBob's. --Conan O’Brien 10/1/2004

Fox News reports that Michael Jackson's father Joe was treated for ulcers this week. When asked why he had ulcers Joe said, “I'm Michael Jackson's father!” --Conan O’Brien 10/1/2004

Jack Daniels announced that they have lowered the alcohol content in their whiskey from 86 proof to 80 proof. As a result Courtney Love now passes out 10 minutes later. --Conan O’Brien 10/1/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And it says a lot about men that this was an easier solution than just asking them to do it (President Trump or scabies?)

According to a new poll, President Trump's approval rating has risen to 46%. Though, the only question on the poll was, "Would you rather have President Trump or scabies?" --Seth Meyers

A start-up in San Francisco has developed a way to make an aged whiskey in just 24 hours. They just put the whiskey in a bottle and put the bottle in front of CNN. --Seth Meyers

A company has developed a new robotic arm that attaches to toilet lids and automatically puts the seat down. And it says a lot about men that this was an easier solution than just asking them to do it. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That level of stupid has never been seen before (Anyone want to go to Waffle House?)

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. --James Corden

He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

I'm not saying he drank it all, but he did start his last sermon with, "Peace be with you. And you. And you, man, I love you so much. In fact, you know, peace be with all of you! Anyone want to go to Waffle House?" --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.