so strong you won't be able to see straight (prom season)

The Supreme Court temporarily restored mail-order access to abortion pills, citing prom season. —Michael Che

President Trump dismissed weapons fire between the U.S. and Iran as a "love tap." He also called gas prices "gentle sodomy.” —Michael Che

FBI Director Kash Patel has reportedly been giving out bottles of his personalized whiskey to FBI staff. Kash Patel Whiskey -- so strong you won't be able to see straight. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How can we make ourselves sound more like a male strip club? (To be fair, she did make everyone very aware of alcohol)

Next up is Texas Senator Ted Cruz. His closing statement is, "I've wanted to represent the great people of Texas since the day I was spawned." --Jimmy Fallon

I read that Toys"R"Us may be relaunching as a new store, called "Geoffrey's Toy Box." I guess executives were like, "How can we make ourselves sound more like a male strip club?" --Jimmy Fallon

Uh, guys, listen to this. A school administrator in Louisiana was just arrested after she showed up to school drunk during alcohol awareness week. To be fair, she did make everyone very aware of alcohol. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

How can we make ourselves sound more like a male strip club? (They planet)

"The new 'Call of Duty: Black Ops' video game was released today, and it actually features General David Petraeus. So I guess it’s safe to assume the game has plenty of cheat codes." –Jimmy Fallon

"The country's largest Tea Party group is planning a cross-country bus tour to help elect Mitt Romney. Romney was like, 'Wow, that's great. What is a bus?'" –Jimmy Fallon

I read that Toys"R"Us may be relaunching as a new store, called "Geoffrey's Toy Box." I guess executives were like, "How can we make ourselves sound more like a male strip club?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What fools use for reason (and longshot nominee, matches)

The New York Metropolitan Opera announced its singer Placido Domingo has stepped down after accusations of sexual misconduct. he will be replaced by his far less sexually aggressive understudy Flaccido Domingo. --Colin Jost, SNL

The National Toy Hall of Fame has announced its twelve finalists for this years class that includes Care Bears, Jenga, My Little Pony and longshot nominee, matches.  --Colin Jost, SNL

A woman in Louisiana who became trapped under a camel freed herself by biting the animals testicles. The idea came to her after she wasted four hours licking them. --Michael Che, SNL

A new airport in China that has the world’s largest terminal and can handle 72 million passengers a year. Not to be outdone, officials at Newark just slid a coaster under a corner of the airport to keep it from wobbling. --Colin Jost, SNL

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html