Somebody's making a penny (smile for a satellite picture)

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody's making a penny. —Steven Wright

I talk to myself a lot. It bothers people though because I use a megaphone. —Steven Wright

Every once in a while I like to stick my head out my window look up at the sky and smile for a satellite picture. —Steven Wright

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m (he must taste delicious)

You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey — 10 bottles of whiskey, because nine's just not enough. Apparently, the Pope loves the Father, the Son, and ALL of the holy spirits. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning's 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m. --James Corden

A 20-year-old man from Colorado recently survived a shark bite in Hawaii. Less than a year before that, he was attacked by a 300-pound black bear. And a few years before that, he was bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. Based on these incidents, we do know a lot about this man. For example, he must taste delicious.  --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

There are two good reasons why men go to see her (please use rear entrance)

If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. –Lawrence Housman (1865-1959), English novelist and dramatist

Family Planning - please use rear entrance. –sign outside the Barnstable Health Centre

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and imported. –Mae West

There are two good reasons why men go to see her. Those are enough. –Howard Hughes (1905-1976), on Jane Russell

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The plan would raise an estimated $900 million billion trillion (That was Melania?)

Vice President Mike Pence today toured a factory in St. Louis. Pence was like, “It’s so great to be back here in the place where I was built.” –Seth Meyers

"Boston's city council is considering increasing its alcohol tax. The plan would raise an estimated $900 million billion trillion." –Seth Meyers

Chris Christie, in a new interview, continued to criticize Marco Rubio for his performance in this weekend's debate and said Rubio is scripted and not spontaneous. To which Marco Rubio replied, "That's not true, comma. I speak from the heart, exclamation point." –Seth Meyers

According to a new book, President Trump and First Lady Melania were seen at Mar-A-Lago on Thanksgiving holding hands and "kissing as if nobody else existed." Meyers as Trump, "That was Melania?" --Seth Meyers

A woman gave birth aboard a JetBlue flight to Florida this weekend. Said the man next to her, "Fine! Take the armrest!" --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”