I don't think I'm alone in saying it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association (an alligator and his stripper girlfriend)

A couple in Florida was just arrested for selling drugs out of their mobile home after police noticed that they had constructed — and we're not making this up — a drive-thru window. The only way this story could be more Florida is if the drive-thru were run by an alligator and his stripper girlfriend. --James Corden

 Is everyone excited for the Stephen King movie "It?" It's coming out this weekend. It's the one about the evil clown. Well, bad news. The World Clown Association has released a statement condemning the movie, saying that it's preventing clowns from getting work. I don't think I'm alone in saying it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Well that explains Florida (joe-caine)

This week has seen a heatwave across much of the US, with a record 103 degrees in Maine. Stephen King will now be writing “Misery 2: The Backs of My Knees Are So Sweaty”. —Stephen Colbert

Studies have shown that increased heat can be bad for the brain, making it harder for many to find their words and leading to higher rates of aggression and violent crime. “Well that explains Florida.” —Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump’s latest rally was in Wisconsin where his brain seem parboiled. Among other strange moments, he made the bizarre accusation that Biden was using cocaine. Joe Biden is not on the Peruvian marching powder but if he did want to dance with the white lady, he could raise a lot of campaign cash selling his own brand of joe-caine. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association (they couldn’t agree on who would get custody of LeBron)

Some big news here in California: The state’s Supreme Court just blocked an initiative asking people to vote on whether California should be split into three separate states. It’s no coincidence that this proposal came right after the state legalized weed. “Dude, what if California was like... three Californias?” Had it split, the three different states would have been known as Northern California, Southern California, and More Racist Arizona. They actually made the decision to suspend the vote when they couldn’t agree on who would get custody of LeBron. --James Corden

Is everyone excited for the Stephen King movie "It?" It's coming out this weekend. It's the one about the evil clown. Well, bad news. The World Clown Association has released a statement condemning the movie, saying that it's preventing clowns from getting work. I don't think I'm alone in saying it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

It's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association (Make 100 stops! See the sights!)

Is everyone excited for the Stephen King movie "It?" It's coming out this weekend. It's the one about the evil clown. Well, bad news. The World Clown Association has released a statement condemning the movie, saying that it's preventing clowns from getting work. I don't think I'm alone in saying it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association. –James Corden

In other shocking food news, according to another study, chocolate chip cookie addiction shares many similarities with cocaine addiction. Truly, yes. Researchers say sugar can give you some of the same cravings that cocaine can give. And I say, it is actually worse for you. Like, believe me, try getting an entire chocolate chip cookie up your nose. --James Corden

Donald Trump went on to say that he will be going on the road and making 50 campaign stops, but he has "no problem with that." You know who else doesn't have a problem with that? Melania. "Go, go. Take all the time you need. Make 100 stops! See the sights!" --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s why she spent the whole day arguing with a mannequin at Kohl’s (Mike, is it too late to change you?)

 “This is a historic announcement, because Harris is the first Black woman and the first person of Indian descent to be nominated for national office by a major party. So Trump’s going to have a hard time deciding exactly how to be racist about her. [as Trump] ‘I demand to see both of her birth certificates.’” —Stephen Colbert

“I’m interested to see what the Trump campaign’s line of attack is going to be on Kamala, because they’re going to have a tough time — everything she’s done in her career appeals to Trump’s base. [imitating Trump] ‘Crafty Kamala spent her whole career locking up criminals and filling up California’s jails. She’s even friends with cops. Hold on. That actually sounds pretty cool. Mike, is it too late to change you?’” —Trevor Noah

“Kamala is the daughter of two immigrants, she went to Howard University, she’s a Democratic senator from California. That’s an inspiring story unless you’re Trump — then it’s a Stephen King novel.” —Jimmy Fallon

“She’s only had the job for a few hours, but Kamala’s already gearing up for debate with Mike Pence. That’s why she spent the whole day arguing with a mannequin at Kohl’s.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Then the stripper giving him a lap-dance said it will still be 20 bucks (But what if your doctor is not Amish?)

"Sarah Palin's daughter is speaking out. In an interview, Bristol says she realizes she was totally unprepared to be a mother. Hey, it's better than being a mother that's totally unprepared to be vice president." –Jay Leno

"In a speech, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele, said 'I am the first here to admit I've made mistakes.' Then the stripper giving him a lap-dance said it will still be 20 bucks." –Jay Leno

"A woman named Sue Lowden is a Republican running for the Senate in Nevada. You know this healthcare thing? The Republicans are against it. She says one of the ways you can keep the cost of your healthcare down is to barter with your doctor. You know, trade with him. That's a great idea. But what if your doctor is not Amish? O.K., what do you do then?" –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's like that when he gets a fresh battery in his pacemaker (I wanna see a list of his meds)

"You guys hear this? 'The Oxford Dictionary' declared that the 2009 word of the year is 'unfriend.' To unfriend means to completely delete somebody you don't like from your life, or as CNN calls it, 'Lou Dobbs them.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin’s book is number one on Amazon.com right now. Stephen King actually has the number two book. It’s a very scary new book called 'Sarah Palin Becomes President.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"One of the people most bothered by Obama's bow was former Vice President Dick Cheney. He said no American president should bow to anyone. Dick's been unusually feisty lately. He's like that when he gets a fresh battery in his pacemaker." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

I'll be speeching on miny imported topix, witch I'll read off a telescope (I appreesheate yer serpent)

I guess most of Trump's State of the Union address was written by his adviser, Stephen Miller. While the rest of Trump's presidency was written by Stephen King. --Jimmy Fallon

Tickets to the State of the Union had to be reprinted after they originally said State of the "Uniom." Even the guy who sent out that false missile alert in Hawaii was like, "How do you mess that up?" --Jimmy Fallon

That's not all. There was actually a message from Trump on the back of the ticket as well. Take a look. It said, "I, Donald J. Turnip, invite you to my Stape of the Onion. This will be my first hairdress to Congested, and I'll be speeching on miny imported topix, witch I'll read off a telescope. I appreesheate yer serpent." --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

If we had a spine this would really hurt (the joke's on him)

Pope Francis said that in his early 40s he attended weekly appointments with a Jewish therapist. The Pope went to a Jewish therapist. The Pope said he went to a Jewish therapist so he could better understand his boss. –Conan O’Brien

Professional children's clowns are upset that the Stephen King movie, "It," makes them look like murderers. That's true. And professional murderers are upset that it makes them look like children's clowns. –Conan O’Brien

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

World Clown Association (Done and done)

Is everyone excited for the Stephen King movie "It?" It's coming out this weekend. It's the one about the evil clown. Well, bad news. The World Clown Association has released a statement condemning the movie, saying that it's preventing clowns from getting work. I don't think I'm alone in saying it's hard to take you seriously when your organization is called the World Clown Association. –James Corden

This morning our president woke up and asked his staff, "Now that this hurricane is over, what's something horrible I can do to distract people from the Russia investigation?" Someone said, "You know, there are 800,000 innocent kids you could deport for no good reason." And he said, "Done and done." –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

The world leader who believes himself the embodiment of God on Earth said he’s a big fan of the Pope

Today, President Trump was at the Vatican meeting with Pope Francis. The world leader who believes himself the embodiment of God on Earth said he’s a big fan of the Pope. –Conan O’Brien

While he was there, President Trump gave Pope Francis several books written by Martin Luther King. Then Trump said, “In my opinion, King’s best books were ‘The Shining’ and ‘Pet Sematary.’” –Conan O’Brien

During their meeting, the Pope gave President Trump a medal. Then Melania said, “Hey, if anyone deserves a medal here, it’s me!” –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats