In the new version of Monopoly, the banker never goes to jail (Is 28% still technically an approval rating?)

 

"President Bush's approval rating has dropped to an all-time low of 28%. Here's my question: Is 28% still technically an approval rating?" --Jay Leno

"Monopoly is getting a big makeover. They want to make the Monopoly game more modern and bring it up to date to reflect our current culture. Like, in the new version of Monopoly, the banker never goes to jail." –Jay Leno

"President Bush was clearing brush at his ranch when he was scratched by a tree. That's a switch, a tree harming a Republican, when does that ever happen? I guess Bush has cut down so many trees they're starting to fight back now." --Jay Leno

"Hey, have you heard Hillary Clinton's new campaign slogan? 'Incoming!' Actually, new revelations about Hillary's trip to Bosnia. You know that whole thing? It turns out it was a misunderstanding. Now she says she went there looking to hire a sniper." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She has more war stories than John McCain? (do you want the brushy brushy)

"I'm a little upset. You know, Hillary Clinton was supposed to be our first guest tonight, but she got pinned down by sniper fire and was not able to come in." --Jay Leno

"Who would've guessed that Hillary would have more war stories than John McCain?" --Jay Leno

"Well, you know, Hillary Clinton's campaign is now saying she misspoke. She misspoke -- that's like a political word -- when she said last week that she landed under sniper fire during a trip to Bosnia as first lady. Turns out, it was gunfire on a trip to L.A. See, she got confused." --Jay Leno

"I tell you, you know who's got to be depressed about all of this? Hillary Clinton. I mean, look at this woman. She works hard, goes to Wellesley, goes to Yale, graduates with honors, devotes her entire life to public service. Now she's starting to realize if she had just put on some makeup and shot a moose, she'd be on her way to the White House." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So let that be a lesson to all you young women out there. Don't ever think of posing nude until after you're a successful hooker.

 

"As you know, Hillary Clinton is coming under fire for claiming she was under fire while in Bosnia. Luckily, she was wearing her Kevlar pantsuit at the time." --Jay Leno

 

"No, Hillary now says that she just made an honest mistake when she said she had to duck sniper fire in Bosnia. There was no hostile fire of any kind. Although, ironically, while she was away, Bill Clinton did see some action." --Jay Leno

President Bush gave his big State of Delusion address. In last year's State of the Union speech, President Bush said, 'The economy is on the move.' This year he said, 'Where'd it go?'" --Jay Leno

"And that high-priced call girl, Ashley Dupre, the one that was having sex with Governor Spitzer, has reportedly lost a $1 million offer to pose nude because old nude photos have popped up on the Internet. So let that be a lesson to all you young women out there. Don't ever think of posing nude until after you're a successful hooker." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Willing to discuss dismantling systems of oppression (it was all about how nurses should have to look you in the eye during a sponge bath)

"Big story this week: Hillary was caught in a bit of a lie. When she was first lady, she went to Bosnia when it was war-torn. She said that she faced sniper fire -- never happened. And had to run to the car for cover -- never happened. If only she had channeled that active fantasy world into her marriage." --Bill Maher

"Whatever you think about Justice John Roberts, he is a serious jurist. His opinion ran 59 pages. Justice Ginsberg's opinion was 61 pages. The four dissenters, their opinion was 65 pages. Clarence Thomas -- 2 pages, and it was all about how nurses should have to look you in the eye during a sponge bath." –Bill Maher

 

"President Bush has arranged for al Qaeda to guard our ports. This is part of his new plan to fight them here so we don't have to fight them there." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (other than that, they say the trip went very well)

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to

get more people there to like her. She claims to have

taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis

airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they

say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named

Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in

Maryland with swindling Target and some other

department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made

off without about $5000 or so which is officially the

smallest amount of money ever stolen by a

Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

"Yesterday, the federal government announced

a massive plan to bail out a number of banking

institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans

more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective,

ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a

trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen (does Hillary Clinton still hear it?)

"And at a speech earlier today in Sterling, Virginia,

President Bush said the economy is going through

a rough patch, but he's confident things will work

out. Unless you own a home, own a car, have stock,

or you're over 65." --Jay Leno

 

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers

are so big that people can't even comprehend them.

Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand

large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of

what it can buy. For example, you know what $700

billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and

435 congressmen." --Jay Leno

 

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper

fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does

Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

other than that, they say the trip went very well/tequila of mass destruction/General Tso, I love your chicken

President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary. But they got together, the Chinese, and threw a big state dinner for President Bush in his honor. They served Peking lame duck. And President Bush, he doesn’t know what he’s doing over there. He turned to the president of China, and he said, 'General Tso, I love your chicken.'" --David Letterman

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down with Cheney, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs)

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

How about Trump calling Kim Jong Un “quite a character.” He poisoned his brother and he put his uncle in front of a firing squad. What a hoot. --Jimmy Kimmel

Dennis Rodman wrote to Trump and offered his help with the summit. Can you imagine waking up from a 15 year coma and hear that Dennis Rodman is helping President Donald Trump campaign for a Nobel Peace Prize for his summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’d probably ask to be put back to sleep. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs)

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it? (It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen)

"And at a speech earlier today in Sterling, Virginia, President Bush said the economy is going through a rough patch, but he's confident things will work out. Unless you own a home, own a car, have stock, or you're over 65." --Jay Leno

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Your greed is hurting the economy (tequila of mass destruction)

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno

"And at a speech earlier today in Sterling, Virginia, President Bush said the economy is going through a rough patch, but he's confident things will work out. Unless you own a home, own a car, have stock, or you're over 65." --Jay Leno

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Voting Republican (tequila of mass destruction)

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (other than that, they say the trip went very well)

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican (Indianapolis airport baggage carousel)

"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Only Donald Trump would treat a meeting with world leader likes it’s a swingers’ key party

There was one uncomfortable moment later on. President Macron’s wife, Brigitte, is 25 years older than he is. He’s 39. She’s 64. Which you know has to be making Trump’s crazy orange head spin. For him that’s about as backwards as it gets. This is what he said to her: “You’re in such good shape. She’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful.” It’s like she’s a ’65 Chevy convertible he’s admiring. Only Donald Trump would treat a meeting with world leader likes it’s a swingers’ key party. –Jimmy Kimmel

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

How many diapers can one woman possibly change? (kind of a philosophical question)

"It was an unplanned pregnancy, but the Palin’s say their daughter will marry the young man. He's a fellow high school student of hers. His name is Levi Johnston. They even found his MySpace page, which they pulled down immediately, but before they did we found out that he's a 'f***ing redneck,' is what he said, and another quote from him, 'I don't want kids.' Remember when the Republicans compared Barack Obama to Britney Spears? Now they've got their their own Jamie Lynn." --Jimmy Kimmel



"Here's kind of a philosophical question: If a sniper fires a gun in the woods and nobody's around, does Hillary Clinton still hear it?" -- Jay Leno

"And how are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She's got a four-month-old of her own, she's about to become a grandmother, and she's partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?" --Jimmy Kimmel



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen (Pelosi's mothballs)

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

"She said at her church, Governor Palin, said she asked everyone to pray for a natural gas pipeline, which she said was God’s will. And today, God said, "Hey lady, I don't deal with oil companies. That's more Satan's area.'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary. But they got together, the Chinese, and threw a big state dinner for President Bush in his honor. They served Peking lame duck. And President Bush, he doesn’t know what he’s doing over there. He turned to the president of China, and he said, 'General Tso, I love your chicken.'" --David Letterman

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535