Or, as the Republicans call it, 'Our vision for the future.' (two fish and five loaves)

"In a big surprise, the second place finisher was Baptist minister and former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee with 18% of the vote, despite spending less than a tenth of what Mitt Romney had. Huckabee himself seemed at a loss to explain his success [on screen: Huckabee comparing his Ames showing to 'feeding the 5,000 with two fish and five loaves']. Apt metaphor, governor. But I really have to say, don't you think Jesus would have won?" --Jon Stewart

"For those of you who still care, what exactly is the Iowa straw poll? [on screen: a political science professor explaining that GOP candidates tend to pay the $35 ticket fee for voters in hopes they will come out and support them]. So, it's an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your vote. Or, as the Republicans call it, 'Our vision for the future.'" --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Harvey Weinstein petitioned to become a bank (Welcome to my hell)

In a late night vote yesterday, the Senate made it illegal to sue a bank. Which is why today, Harvey Weinstein petitioned to become a bank. –Conan O’Brien

When asked about the 2020 election, Joe Biden said, “I haven’t decided to run. But I’ve decided I’m not going to decide not to run.” Then his wife Jill Biden said, “Welcome to my hell.” –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Even worse, 30 percent of the crows still think the Trump scarecrow is doing a great job

President Trump and Republican Sen. Bob Corker are in a feud after Corker compared the White House to a day care center. When they heard this, 3-year-olds everywhere said, “Oh no — do not lump us in with that guy.” –Conan O’Brien

A California elementary school is under fire for putting up a Donald Trump scarecrow. Even worse, 30 percent of the crows still think the Trump scarecrow is doing a great job. –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

the first step to recovery is admitting that YOU’RE the problem (Mitt Romney's Boom Box)

Remember a few months ago when future former President Barack Obama got Iran to release four American prisoners? Well, it turns out he forgot to tell us about a small shipping and handling fee. Because as the prisoners were freed, $400 million was flown to Iran on a plane loaded with cash. Don't you hate it when you're on an airplane and you get stuck sitting next to $400 million? You don't know who gets the armrest. –Stephen Colbert

This week Trump attacked a Gold Star family, seemed happy about getting a Purple Heart as a gift — ’cuz it was so much easier than EARNING one — and appeared to feud with a crying baby at a campaign rally. Things have gotten so bad that Trump's allies are plotting an intervention. An intervention! “They love you Donald, and the first step to recovery is admitting that YOU’RE the problem.” –Stephen Colbert

I’m guessing this is just wishful thinking, but senior GOP officials are exploring options if Trump drops out. In fact, top Republicans have been seen standing outside Mitt Romney's house holding boom boxes. –Stephen Colbert