he has the same hair as an extra on The Walking Dead

Donald Trump says that by the 100th day of his presidency the wall on the border of Mexico will be designed, the immigration ban on Muslims will be in place, the four horsemen will be scheduled to appear. He'll get to work chiseling Roosevelt's face on Mount Rushmore and replacing it with his own. –Jimmy Kimmel

We drink on St. Patty's Day for the Irish. We drink on Oktoberfest for the Germans, and we drink on Thanksgiving to forget what we did to Native Americans. –Stephen Colbert

Trump has graciously said that he's willing to consider some of his previous Republican rivals [for vice president], as long as they don't remember any of the things he said about them. So we might be looking at the ticket of "Trump/Liar '16,” "Trump/Low Energy '16,” "Trump/A Face Like That '16,” and "Trump/Lil’ Sweaty Guy '16." All winning tickets. –Stephen Colbert

But there's one candidate who remained standing: Bernie Sanders. Bernie scored a huge upset victory that raised his campaign from the grave. Which explains why he has the same hair as an extra on “The Walking Dead.” –Stephen Colbert