Trump’s starting a rumor that Springsteen wasn’t really born in the USA (America’s ninja warrior)

The debate was actually split into several themes. America’s direction, America’s prosperity, America’s security, and then strangely “America’s ninja warrior.” --Jimmy Fallon

There were actually 1,000 people in the audience tonight and they were instructed not to applaud or cheer during the debate. As people watching were like, “What about sobbing? Can we quietly sob?” --Jimmy Fallon

A lot of celebrities are sharing their views of the election. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Bruce Springsteen called Trump a moron. Which is why now Trump’s starting a rumor that Springsteen wasn’t really born in the USA. --Jimmy Fallon

A man in Florida is in jail after he was spotted riding a manatee and dared cops to arrest him. Maybe it’s just me, but if you dare cops to arrest you, try to be on a faster animal than a manatee. --Jimmy Fallon

Police Caught Lying About Protestors In Charlotte North Carolina

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Despot, madman, husband, father? He will be, uh, buried (Abu Ghraib)

"Did you folks see 'The Sopranos' last night? Fans had to wait two years, two years for a new episode. Apparently the show's now being produced by FEMA." --David Letterman

"Sen. Russ Feingold, who I believe is running for president, said over the weekend he's pushing the Senate to censure the president over spying. Bush, he isn't worried about it, he knew it was coming. He'd been listening to Feingold's conversations for the last three months." --Jay Leno

"The United States is closing Abu Ghraib prison. This'll probably put the one-hour photo shop across the street out of business." --Jay Leno

"On Saturday at the Hague, Slobodan Milosevic died. Despot, madman, husband, father? He will be, uh, buried." --Jon Stewart

"Do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Milosevic?" --David Letterman

I'd hate to see anything take away our standing as the Great Satan (moral lines)

"Bush's former domestic policy advisor Claude Allen, he's now charged with defrauding department stores. And when Bush heard about this he was stunned, he was shocked. He had no idea he had a domestic policy adviser." --David Letterman

"An analyst now says that killing Bush’s port deal has hurt our standing in the Muslim world. Oh my god, I'd hate to see anything take away our standing as the Great Satan." --Jay Leno

"The Sopranos are a lot like the Bush administration. There are wiretaps, people going to jail, and the second in command accidentally shoots his best friend." --Jay Leno

which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican

"Tough day for the Bush administration. A guy named Claude Allen has been arrested and charged in Maryland with swindling Target and some other department stores out of refunds. He allegedly made off without about $5000 or so which is officially the smallest amount of money ever stolen by a Republican." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Bush's approval rating is not good. A new Gallup poll puts it at just 36% which is a new low for his presidency. He is just slightly more popular than herpes now." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Everybody's excited about March Madness, the big NCAA tournament? Here's how it works: It starts at 65, then 64, then 32, then 16. It's just like Bush's approval rating." --David Letterman

Technically, my title is vice president (triple homicide)

A White House email account was hacked and a lot of their information was leaked yesterday. They're saying the information was stolen from the Gmail account of a low-level staffer. Then Joe Biden was like, "Technically, my title is vice president." –Jimmy Fallon

It was reported today that due to his role in the Bridge-gate scandal, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie could face impeachment. When he heard that, Christie said, "MMM, peach, mint." –Jimmy Fallon

New data finds that more Americans are bringing their own lunch to work every day. As evidenced by the inside of your break room microwave that looks like a triple homicide just took place. –Jimmy Fallon

Tim Kaine: The Biggest Coward in the Democratic Party

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html