OK, thanks for coming over.

President Obama reportedly met Hillary Clinton yesterday for a secret lunch at the White House. And then when lunch ended, Hillary said, “OK, thanks for coming over.” –Seth Meyers

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired tonight on CBS. Normally, you’d have to watch the Food Network to see that many oily ribs. –Seth Meyers

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said yesterday that he will become a “part-time vegetarian” to cut down his carbon footprint. If you’re wondering what a part-time vegetarian is, it’s someone who eats meat. –Seth Meyers

And this is a guy who shot one of his friends in the face

The most popular reality TV show in America right now is Donald Trump's campaign for president. Trump, yesterday, proposed a "total and complete shutdown" of Muslims coming into the United States. Even former Vice President Dick Cheney said the ban goes against everything we believe in. And this is a guy who shot one of his friends in the face. --Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump said that the United States should block all Muslims from entering the country. He said that in fact, the only reason we should ever allow ANYONE to come here from ANY country is to marry him. –Seth Meyers

In other words, he’s got my full support

Dick Cheney said Donald Trump’s comments yesterday go against everything America stands for. Cheney said, "In other words, he’s got my full support." –Conan O’Brien

Pope Francis is launching a campaign he calls the "Revolution of Tenderness." It’s the first papal decree in history to be named after a Marvin Gaye album. –Conan O’Brien

Last week was the 23rd anniversary of the first text message. Coincidentally, it was also the 23rd anniversary of the first rear-end collision. –Conan O’Brien

The weapons include tanks, rifles, and Donald Trump.

Donald Trump got a lot of people upset when he released a statement yesterday that called for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even Dick Cheney said he’d gone too far. You know it's bad when Dick Cheney steps in to say, "Come on, have a heart, any heart." –Jimmy Fallon

The White House pastry chef made a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread White House. Obama was like, "Uh, but you made a REGULAR gingerbread house for all the OTHER presidents...” –Jimmy Fallon

A new report claims ISIS has been using American weapons in their fight against the United States. The weapons include tanks, rifles, and Donald Trump. –Conan O’Brien

I think I might have ovulated

A new poll has found that half of the country thinks Donald Trump's statements on the campaign trail are insulting and offensive, while the other half of the country thinks his statements are “insultante y ofensiva.” –Seth Meyers

This year the Kennedy Center honored Carole King. Now the night culminated in a tribute to Carole King with the great Aretha Franklin singing "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman." Aretha's so powerful that at the end of that song, I felt like a natural woman. I think I might have ovulated. –Stephen Colbert

Hillary Clinton said it was her favorite episode of "House Hunters."

Today Donald Trump called for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States. I'm starting to think Donald Trump is sick of running for president. He's trying to say crazy things to get himself thrown out. But the crazier the things he says, the more people seem to like him. It's like the movie "The Producers." This campaign is his “Springtime for Hitler.” –Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama gave a rare national address last night from the Oval Office. Then today, Hillary Clinton said it was her favorite episode of "House Hunters." –Seth Meyers

8 pounds, 1 ounce, and 23 million Instagram followers

Congratulations to Kim Kardashian and her husband Kanye West. On Saturday, Kim gave birth to her second child, a boy. The baby weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce, and 23 million Instagram followers. –Jimmy Kimmel

Kim was carrying in a breech position — the baby was upside down, it’s supposed to be the other way. Doctors were able to insert a tiny cellphone at the base of the amniotic sac and the baby turned upside down to grab it and take a selfie. –Jimmy Kimmel

Kim revealed the baby's name today. They named their kid Saint West. Even Apple Paltrow and Blue Ivy Carter are like, “Oh, come on!” –Jimmy Kimmel