On Two. Ready-Break! (suspiciously close to taking a knee)

The fact is, Harvey Weinstein’s behavior left room for only two options: fire him from the Weinstein Company or elect him president of the United States. –James Corden

Do you remember AOL instant messenger? It was like the precursor to modern day texting. Last week AOL announced it will be shutting down AIM in December. I know. I know. This is devastating news for three of you. –James Corden

But a December shutdown isn’t good enough for some people. Today Mike Pence said he wants instant messenger shut down immediately, because that little AOL guy is suspiciously close to taking a knee. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Five years with the Vietcong was enough

"The Iranian government just announced that they are going to slow down Internet access speed because they don't want Iranians to have good Internet service. Apparently, the government is so serious about this they are making all Iranians subscribe to AOL." --Conan O'Brien

"Senator John McCain is denying rumors flying around Washington that he recently went out drinking with Hillary Clinton. McCain's exact quote was, 'Five years with the Vietcong was enough'." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a report by the World Energy Experts, North Korea is so short of electricity that the whole country switches off at 9 o'clock. The electricity is shut off at 9 o'clock. So it's a country where few people speak English, they have power outages all the time, they're ruled by a funny looking guy with a strange accent. It's like California without the traffic." --Jay Leno

resell them as rock concert smoke machines

A high school student hacked the AOL email account of John Brennan, the director of the CIA. In other words, the student correctly guessed that the password of anyone still using AOL is "password." –Conan O’Brien

Oprah Winfrey is buying a 10 percent stake in Weight Watchers. Oprah’s financial advisor asked her if she wanted to buy a large stake and Oprah said, "Oh, yeah!" –Conan O’Brien

Volkswagen may be forced to buy back all the cars that failed to properly pass their emissions tests. Volkswagen officials say that’s fine — because they plan to resell them as rock concert smoke machines. –Conan O’Brien