“Nancy Pelosi arrived in Taiwan safely, as the Chinese government reiterated that US politicians who ‘play with fire’ on Taiwanese independence will ‘come to no good end’. That threat started out very scary and ended up being very vague. We’ll have more on this story if humanity continues to exist.” —Stephen Colbert
“A US drone strike in Kabul killed the al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. We haven’t had a win like this since we got Bin Laden 11 years ago. So play some LMFAO on my slightly different iPhone and throw Girl With the Dragon Tattoo on the Blu-ray, because I’m partying like it’s 2011! Hashtag winning, Beyoncé’s pregnant, I hope I get to host the Late Show one day. In a press conference from Washington, Biden assured that the mission to kill Zawahiri was ‘carefully planned to rigorously minimize the harm to other civilians. None of his family members were hurt, and there were no civilian casualties.’ OK, that’s cool, but shouldn’t that be the goal of all military operations? That’s like a doctor saying ‘the surgery was a total success, Mr Johnson. We removed your appendix without stabbing any of the nearby nurses.’” —Stephen Colbert
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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