I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours (Been there, done that)

"Scientists are saying that a giant asteroid could strike the earth in 2182, and that it could decimate the planet and destroy most forms of life. A spokesman for BP said, 'Been there, done that.'" –Craig Ferguson

"The royal baby has a name now: George Alexander Louis. George is not the king yet. So for now, we just address him as 'Boy George.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”