He’s like ‘well, at least my Covid got a second term.’ (No one turn on the washing machine!)

August 2022

“President Biden has a rebound case of Covid. Right now, Biden’s looking on the bright side. He’s like ‘well, at least my Covid got a second term.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Usually when a 79-year-old is on the rebound, you’re meeting your new aunt named Barbara. The virus came back so fast the staffers didn’t even have time to take down the Get Well Soon balloons.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I wonder about that single Illinois ticket that won the $1.34 Billion Mega Millions jackpot over the weekend. The winner hasn’t come forward yet, so either they’re contacting financial experts, or they’re at home being like, ‘crap, where is it, I went swimming, no one turn on the washing machine!’” —Jimmy Fallon

“And after a trip to Canada using a wheelchair and walker, Pope Francis said that he will need to either slow down or retire. So I guess we know who won the Mega Millions. Congratulations, your holiness.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”