Also, do not play with the lion's mouth, you will regret it immediately (Also, you drink it now)

Donald Trump responded by punching caps lock and flooring it! "To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!" Yes, be cautious! You cross Donald Trump, and you're gonna get what the other dictators got: a friendly summit, a handshake, and, if you're not careful, an invitation to the White House. --Stephen Colbert

Hassan Rouhani also warned Trump “not to play with the lion's tail, because you will regret it eternally." That's just good advice. Also, do not play with the lion's mouth, you will regret it immediately. --Stephen Colbert

There's so much surplus meat that pork processors recently have reduced some hours at plants, and some plants even have turned away hogs. Ugh, can you imagine being a hog trying to get past the velvet rope at the slaughterhouse? "Come on, man, my cousin's already in there. He's a giant hog. Man, this is whack, I cleaned all the mud off myself for nothing." All of this surplus meat has led to a desperate new ad campaign: "Beef: It's what's for dinner. And breakfast, and lunch. Also, you drink it now." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”