The New York Jets do not use fake crowd noise, but they do have a laugh track (America in two headlines)

“The Atlanta Falcons have been fined and lost a draft pick for using fake crowd noise through their loudspeaker system at the stadium. The New York Jets do not use fake crowd noise, but they do have a laugh track.”—David Letterman

“Here's the latest on the Iran deal. Iran says they will not make nuclear weapons if the U.S. doesn't make more movies with Seth Rogen and James Franco.” —David Letterman

"Chris Christie, what a guy. He allegedly closes down the George Washington Bridge. Everybody goes crazy. And he says, 'I'll handle this. I'm going to investigate myself.' So he investigates himself. He finds out that he, in fact, is innocent. He came up with a classic defense, 'If the pants don't fit, you must acquit.'" –David Letterman

"Evil Russian president Vladimir Putin and his wife have divorced. They say it was amicable. It must be because she's still alive." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”