It’s like getting Kim and Kanye to agree on a day care situation — it’s very difficult (descended from Vikings)

March 2022

“But Zelensky appealed directly to Congress. He said, ‘We need you right now.’ And Congress was like, ‘Listen, we’d love to help, but we just made daylight saving time permanent and we are wiped out, so.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Zelensky asked America to establish a no-fly zone over Ukraine, which we’re reluctant to do because it could result in nuclear war. But we are willing to wear blue and yellow lapel pins at all the awards shows this month, so that’s something, right?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“He got two standing ovations, which was nice. I think he’d rather get fighter jets, but the standing ovations were good.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“It was bipartisan. Republicans and Democrats stood for him, which is almost impossible. It’s like getting Kim and Kanye to agree on a day care situation — it’s very difficult.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“One of the ‘few bright spots’ in the horrific Ukraine invasion, has been watching Russian oligarchs’ super-yachts get seized by other governments; one Russian-owned yacht is stranded in Norway because locals refuse to refuel it. Every once and awhile the Norwegians like to remind us they descended from Vikings, you know?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”