I want to tell you, occasions don't get more rare than that, ladies and gentlemen (It's more of a dry hate)

"They say the Ukraine has become a wild, lawless region like Arizona, where they had this anti-gay legislation that was vetoed yesterday by the governor. They always invoke the word hate, but in Arizona, it's not hate. It's more of a dry hate." –David Letterman

"Talking about presidents who smoked. You remember George W. Bush? Remember him? He's saying while he was president he would enjoy the occasional cigar. On a rare occasion, he would have a cigar because he said it helped him think. I want to tell you, occasions don't get more rare than that, ladies and gentlemen." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is a good-looking Republican from Massachusetts. You know, he's like that new senator from Massachusetts. He's like Scott Brown, but with pants." –David Letterman

“Mitt Romney won in Michigan last night. It was certainly a close race — a real nail-biter or, in Romney's case, a real manicure.” –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”