"It was so dark in Washington that when the power went out the only thing that was glowing was John Boehner's face." –David Letterman
"As soon as the lights in Washington went out, Senator John McCain tried to clap them back on." –David Letterman
"This week Pope Francis is celebrating his first anniversary as Pope, and he tweeted to his 3.7 million followers 'Please pray for me.' I was a little surprised that he hash-tagged it, 'so hung over.'" –Seth Meyers
"The Obama administration announced it is going to require colleges and vocational schools to demonstrate that they are properly preparing students for jobs after college. So don't be surprised if your chemistry class tomorrow is all about how to make a cappuccino." –Seth Meyers
"The average American citizen – you hear the statistic all the time – works six months out of the year for the government. That's how difficult the taxes are in this country. We work six months out of the year. Government employees don't even do that." –David Letterman
"The situation in Ukraine keeps getting more tense. And now Vladimir Putin has moved 10,000 troops to the Russian-Ukrainian border. Russia says its troops are there only for a training exercise. When asked what they're training for, Russian officials said, 'Invading Ukraine.'" –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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