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Sunday, March 29, 2020

Oh Sweden, your political sex scandals are so adorable (and the other one’s Donald Duck)


June 2011

"After searching online for eight minutes for pictures of a congressman's penis you have to start questioning yourself. And now we find out Weiner's wife is pregnant. The only thing that could make this right is if it turns out she got pregnant by Arnold Schwarzenegger." –Jimmy Kimmel

"There's a heat wave over half of the country. It got so hot in New York, a congressman took off his pants and tweeted a picture of himself." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"It's Donald Duck Day, the day the mighty Disney corporation says we celebrate our favorite Donald. Sorry, Donald Trump. Donald Duck & Donald Trump are very different of course. One’s a noisy cartoon character with a feathery a** and the other one’s Donald Duck." –Craig Ferguson

"It's not a great day for the King of Sweden. He’s facing pressure to step down over rumors that he frequents strip clubs. Now, I think I speak for every American when I say, 'Oh Sweden, your political sex scandals are so adorable.'" –Craig Ferguson

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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