Uh, yeah, that's why I'm a member of the Zipper Club (This is the end of my presidency)

"On his last show, Larry King told Bill Clinton they were both members of the Zipper Club because they both had open heart surgery. Clinton was, "Uh, yeah, that's why I'm a member of the Zipper Club..." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama was talking with school kids yesterday and said he walked their dog Bo on the White House lawn and picked up his poop. They should probably have someone else do that. Obama's not good at cleaning up messes other people have left for him." –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama wore a vintage thrift-store dress from the 1950s for the Christmas in Washington concert. She's not the only one going vintage. In fact, her husband just agreed to a tax plan from the early 2000s." –Jimmy Fallon

"The EPA just announced that the artificial sweetener saccharin is not a cancer threat after all. Or as I'll be reporting the story 10 years from now, 'The EPA just announced that the artificial sweetener saccharin is definitely a cancer threat after all.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”