It's the perfect way to tell that special someone that you want to bang her (One of them even lost an eye... 26)

A motorist in the UK was arrested yesterday after he crashed his car while swerving to avoid hitting an octopus he claimed to have seen in the road. Officials became suspicious when they couldn't find any squid marks. --Seth Meyers

Two elderly women in Canada this week got into a physical fight after they both wanted to sit in the same chair during a game of Bingo. One of them even lost an eye... 26. --Seth Meyers

A company in England has begun selling a heart-shaped sausage ahead of Valentine's Day. It's the perfect way to tell that special someone that you want to bang her. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”