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Thursday, December 13, 2018

Please don't touch the harpsichord (Abraham Lincoln had a secretary named Ringo)


I don't like to complain but lately it seems whenever I have a dinner party I have to keep saying the five same words over and over again to my guests. “Please don't touch the harpsichord.” --David Letterman 8/26/1988
A stage costume worn once by Elvis Presley sold a couple of days ago in London for $48,000. The guy who bought it said he was going to donate it to his son's Little League field to be used as a tarp. --David Letterman 8/26/1988

Top Ten Revelations in Albert Goldman's Upcoming Biography of Ringo Starr
10. Only Beatle to portray himself in Beatlemania
9. Used to give John and Paul token songs to sing so they wouldn't feel left out
8. Had a secretary named Lincoln, while Lincoln had a secretary named Ringo
7. For a while actually believed Paul was dead
6. Served in Indiana National Guard during Vietnam War
5. Suggested Hey Hey We're the Monkees as the Beatles theme song
4. On their honeymoon he and wife Barbara Bach held a bed-in to promote Seagram's wine coolers
3. Made a fortune selling cheesy Ginsu knife sets on TV. Oh, I’m sorry. That’s a revelation about Ronco, not Ringo
2. Advised Paul that “Hey Dude” just didn’t sound right
1.  Vocal on “Octopus's Garden” played backwards sounds like “Thank God these other guys are so talented”
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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