"I
like that John McCain. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under
the influence. He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the
car wash. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like
the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that -
hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?' He looks like the guy who calls his
grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish.
What am I going to do, hello?'" --David Letterman
"But,
I want to tell you something, the Republicans, they're not taking this McCain
scandal lightly. They are very concerned about this new scandal, yes, they are.
But, on the bright side, it doesn't involve an airport men's room."
--David Letterman
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