On Making a Case for War (You promised me you would be in gabardine)

"Last night in Washington, our President George W. Bush, 43rd President of these United States, delivered his seventh and some would say final State of the Union address [on screen: Bush saying, 'The state of the union will remain strong']. Added the president, 'I've done everything I could to jack this union up these past years, but union, you beat me. I tip my hat to you. You're a hell of a union.' But it was a big night. Everybody who was constitutionally mandated to be anybody was there. Hillary Clinton in a stunning red dress looking radiant, proving she would be the most electrifying cutaway. Son of a bitch, no! [on screen: FLOTUS Laura Bush also in red]. No! Damn you, Laura Bush! You promised me you would be in gabardine." --Jon Stewart

"Of course, this was the president's final chance to state his case for his presidential legacy. For the man who came to Washington as a uniter, for him to tout the great bipartisan accomplishments of his seemingly freakishly long presidency [on screen: Bush saying, 'Six years ago we came together to pass the 'No Child Left Behind Act']. And that was it. It seems that as the president comes to the end of his two terms, he has finally realized the best way to get things done for you is for you to do it [on screen: Bush saying, 'We must trust in the ability of free peoples to make wise decisions. We must trust in the creative genius of American researchers. We must trust in the wisdom of founders. We must trust in the skill of our scientists. We must trust American workers. We must trust patients and doctors. We must trust Americans with the responsibility of homeownership']. By the way, when he says we must trust Americans, he doesn't mean like the royal we as in him. I think we know his position on trusting us [on screen: Bush saying, 'I'm the decider']." --Jon Stewart