"President Bush said
that Bill Clinton has become so close to his father, he is like a brother.
Which is great because it gives the first President Bush the smart son he never
had." --Jay Leno
"Happy Birthday to
Vice President Dick Cheney, or as they call him, the Fresh Prince of Intensive
Care. He turns 65 today, so for those of you who took the over, you win. Got
over a thousand gifts, all from Jack Abramoff. Actually, one embarrassing
moment, when they cut the cake, oil came out." --Jay Leno
"Exxon recorded
record profits for 2005. Over $36 billion dollars in profits. I’m as shocked as
you are. Who would have thought they would have benefited from selling gas for
three dollars a gallon?" --Jay Leno
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