"Congressmen are
actually now returning illegal gifts. I called the weather bureau, and sure
enough, hell has frozen over." --David Letterman
"The former chef of
the White House has written a tell-all book. For example, he says that Dick
Cheney, Vice President, his favorite dish is a dish called Chicken Gitmo. It's
chicken bound and gagged on a bed of rice." --David Letterman
"There will be a lot
of changes, I tell you, if Donald Trump were president. Instead of getting bad
intelligence from the CIA, Trump would get bad intelligence from his
barber." --David Letterman
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