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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

I’m just a humble drug lord!



Donald Trump is on the show tonight, and I'm not saying security is tight, but the Secret Service just built a giant wall around the building — we had to pay for it! –Jimmy Fallon
Republican candidates aired a dozen new TV ads last week, even though recent data has shown that TV ads are mostly ineffective. Chris Christie was like, “If TV ads aren't effective, why do I keep going to Wendy's for their Gouda Bacon Cheeseburger, here ONLY for a limited time?” –Jimmy Fallon
A day after he was caught, it came out that Mexican drug lord El Chapo actually sat down for an interview with Sean Penn while he was on the run. In the interview, El Chapo described himself as “a person who's not looking for problems in any way.” You know, except for that whole “Mexican drug lord” thing. “I’m just a humble drug lord! I chop up my enemies one leg at a time, just like anybody else.” –Jimmy Fallon


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