"Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor
Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole."
–David Letterman
"Hillary
Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants
citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans celebrate
Cinco de Mayo yesterday, immigrants said, 'You know what, we're good. We're
gonna head back now. We had enough.'" –Jimmy Fallon
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