"The royal baby is now past due. It was supposed to be
born two days ago. So ladies and gentlemen, once again a member of the British
royal family is avoiding labor." –Conan O'Brien
"It has come out that when Moammar
Gadhafi's Libyan compound was raided back in 2011, someone stole his gold
toilet brush. Police describe the suspect as pretty much anyone with a gold
toilet brush." –Conan O'Brien
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