He would appoint his hair 'Secretary of Handsome.'

"Ultraconservative Rick Santorum said he is the son of an Italian immigrant. Immediately after the comment, Santorum had his dad deported." –Conan O'Brien 



"Fun fact about Mitt Romney: He would appoint his hair 'Secretary of Handsome.'" –Conan O'Brien 



"Fun fact about Rick Perry: In high school, voted most likely to execute 200 people." –Conan O'Brien 



John Hulse photography