Wow, no wonder so many people called in sick at Nickelodeon (an invincible love)

So CNN's Brian Stelter says his friends in LA told him that 99.9% of the city is just fine. Coincidentally 99.9% is also his body fat. —Greg Gutfeld 

According to ICE the migrants arrested in LA included convicted sex offenders and drug dealers. Wow, no wonder so many people called in sick at Nickelodeon. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the money poor people create (All he had to do was...)

“Mitt Romney is having a lot of trouble connecting to the common person. So he’s trying a little too hard. In an interview yesterday, Romney said that he has worn a garbage bag as rain gear. He said it’s easy. All he had to do was dump out the hundred-dollar bills and throw the bag over his head.” –Conan O'Brien

Nickelodeon is bringing back the popular preschoolers' TV show "Blue's Clues." There's one slight change – Blue only solves triple homicides. --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If your dad offers you a million dollars, say yes. (spirit animals)

Nickelodeon is bringing back the popular preschoolers' TV show "Blue's Clues." There's one slight change – Blue only solves triple homicides. --Conan O’Brien

At the White House today, President Trump gave advice to a group of schoolchildren and he told them to “work hard.” Trump also told them, “If your dad offers you a million dollars, say yes.” –Conan O’Brien

"Today residents of L.A. are voting on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

As you can imagine, that came as quite a shock to Beyoncé (SpongeBob No-Pants)

Foreign policy experts say that the president of China is now the world’s most powerful person. As you can imagine, that came as quite a shock to Beyoncé. –Conan O’Brien

Nickelodeon has fired a male producer after multiple accusations of sexual harassment. He’s the creator of Nickelodeon’s “SpongeBob No-Pants.” –Conan O’Brien

A California elementary school is under fire for putting up a Donald Trump scarecrow. Even worse, 30 percent of the crows still think the Trump scarecrow is doing a great job. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Whatever you do, don't be yourself (carpet samples)

October 2012

"Tomorrow night Joe Biden and Paul Ryan will be facing off in the vice-presidential debate. The White House was a little worried. In fact, Biden's handlers are telling him, 'Whatever you do, don't be yourself. Be anybody else.'" –Jay Leno

"The good news for the White House is that unemployment has dropped to 7.8 percent, right where it was when President Obama took office. So Obama has gone from 'Change you can believe in' to 'Can you believe there's no change.'" –Jay Leno

"Today the Secret Service caught a woman trying to sneak into the White House with a mysterious package. Turns out it was just Ann Romney with some carpet samples." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney is refusing to participate in the long-running special on Nickelodeon called 'Kids Pick the President.' Romney said it's nothing personal; he just says that these kids are part of that 47 percent who contribute nothing to the country and mooch off their parents and grandparents." –Jay Leno 

"Can you believe it's only another month until we start arguing about whether the election was stolen or not?" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We just know it’s probably a bad idea (we don’t go around and put up statues of rats)

“There are still people out there who are like, ‘Yeah, but if you take down the statues, how will people learn their history? These statues are about history.’ Read a book, [expletive]. That is how you learn history. No one really thinks that these statues are teaching anybody history. The bubonic plague was a major event in history — we don’t go around and put up statues of rats.” —Trevor Noah

“These statutes celebrate some of the worst ideas in human history, yet there are many people across America and in Britain who are upset about these statues coming down. So if it’s monument to bad ideas that these people want, we have come up with some that are far less hurtful, harmful and upsetting. For example, they could build a monument to the universally unloved ‘Star Wars’ character Jar Jar Binks, or the perplexing artwork that is Ben Affleck’s back tattoo. Is it a dragon? Is it a fish? No one knows. We just know it’s probably a bad idea.” —James Corden

“L.A. is showing up to march, which is encouraging. Do you know how hard it is to get people to walk in L.A.? In Hollywood, activism usually means wearing a lapel pin to the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Oh, God. The caravan is coming from inside the House! (just as loud and just as orange)

But it was an historic night. Trump gave his speech in front of the most diverse Congress ever. It was so diverse, Trump was like, "Oh, God. The caravan is coming from inside the House!" --Jimmy Fallon

Actually, some of the channels that didn't air the speech released statements explaining their decision. For example, HGTV released a statement saying, "We didn't air the President's address because we already know how to build walls." Up next, Bravo. They said they didn't air the address because even the Real Housewives think that's too much drama. The History Channel said, "We didn't air it because we aired something more factual -- 'Ancient Aliens.'" Nickelodeon said, "We didn't air the President's address because we oppose his position on immigration. We stand with Dora." And finally MTV said, "We didn't air the President's address, but we did air a 'Jersey Shore' marathon, which is just as loud and just as orange." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know for an evildoer he’s not such a bad guy (a visit from the boogie Cheney)

In a new poll Nickelodeon asked children who they would vote for in the presidential election and the kids picked John Kerry. President Bush was so angry he told the kids that tonight they'll get a visit from the boogie Cheney. --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

Yesterday one of Iran's top leaders announced that he wants President Bush to win the election. After hearing this President Bush said, “You know for an evildoer he’s not such a bad guy.” --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses (You have chosen the side of the oppressors)

"Mexico's government just offered a $2 million bounty on its top drug lords, which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses." --Jimmy Fallon

"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"In Saudi Arabia, radical clerics want to ban all women from appearing on television. This is really bad news for fans of the hit comedy, 'How I Met Your Mullah.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Voters in Iowa are already receiving phone calls about whether or not they approve of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. They're instructed to press one for 'yes' and two for 'you betcha!'" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's like they were here a second ago and they just disappeared (triple homicides)

Snapchat is laying off 100 employees. A spokesperson for the company said, "It's weird, it's like they were here a second ago and they just disappeared." --Conan O’Brien

Nickelodeon is bringing back the popular preschoolers' TV show "Blue's Clues." There's one slight change – Blue only solves triple homicides. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

that came as quite a shock to Beyoncé (SpongeBob No-Pants)

Foreign policy experts say that the president of China is now the world’s most powerful person. As you can imagine, that came as quite a shock to Beyoncé. –Conan O’Brien

Nickelodeon has fired a male producer after multiple accusations of sexual harassment. He’s the creator of Nickelodeon’s “SpongeBob No-Pants.” –Conan O’Brien

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I think this is the year to bring that tradition back (Back to the Future)

The early voting results are in and on Saturday, Nickelodeon announced the winner of its Kids Pick the President initiative. This is an event where school kids vote, and the majority were overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton. Nickelodeon may have voted for Hillary, but we need to find out what Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel say before we can call it a lock. –James Corden

Tomorrow we will elect either Biff from “Back to the Future” or one of the robots from “Westworld.” You will decide. –Jimmy Kimmel

There used to be a tradition of heavy drinking on Election Day. People used to get drunk like St. Patrick’s Day, then they passed all sorts of laws to prevent that from happening. I think this is the year to bring that tradition back. –Jimmy Kimmel

Tagg, you're it!

"During Wednesday's debate Mitt Romney said that even though he likes Big Bird, if elected he would stop the subsidy to PBS – it's a surprising threat considering that 'Mitt' is such an excellent Muppet name." –Seth Meyers on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"





"Mitt Romney is refusing to participate in the long-running special on Nickelodeon called 'Kids Pick the President.' Romney said it's nothing personal; he just says that these kids are part of that 47 percent who contribute nothing to the country and mooch off their parents and grandparents." –Jay Leno 

"People close to the campaign are saying that Mitt Romney's son, Tagg, is now one of his chief advisers. That's right, when Mitt asked him to join the team, he put his arm on his son's shoulder and said 'Tagg, you're it!'" –Jimmy Fallon