They'd also appreciate it if he would return Mike Pence to Westworld (Both parties need to go)

A Japanese man has broken the Guinness world record for the most skips over a rope in 24 hours with a total of over 151,000. This story was first reported by the man's downstairs neighbor.  --Seth Meyers

A luxury hotel in the Maldives has opened a $50,000-per-night underwater villa in the Indian Ocean. And if you love real estate that's underwater, try Trump's hotels. --Seth Meyers

After President Trump tweeted a poster of himself in the style of HBO's Game of Thrones that said "Sanctions Are Coming," HBO responded and said it would prefer the tagline not be misappropriated for political purposes. They'd also appreciate it if he would return Mike Pence to Westworld.  --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

when you try to fill a briefcase with unlimited breadsticks (Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls)

September 2021

“One way you can tell that the Republican Party is intellectually bankrupt is that they spend very little time talking about policy and a lot more time talking about bat [expletive] conspiracy theories they concocted out of nowhere. It’s so hard to keep up with the right-wing rumor mill that sometimes I’ll only find out about one after it’s been debunked. Yesterday I was scrolling through Twitter and saw a Snopes headline that said, ‘No, Joe Biden is not a Westworld Robot Created by George Soros to Steal Your Hamburgers,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, right, I forgot to tape “Judge Jeanine” last night.’” —Seth Meyers

“So, the left is focused on trying to pass a far-reaching bill that would transform child care, expand the social safety net and tackle climate change, among other things, and what’s the MAGA crowd doing? Are they offering any alternative solutions? Or are they asking Eric Trump about Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls?” —Seth Meyers

“I will say this, though: If cable news ever gets boring for Tucker, he’d make a hell of an improviser because my man knows how to heighten. [Imitating Carlson] If they can force you take a vaccine, what can’t they force you to do? Can they force you to take psychotropic meds? Make you wear a seatbelt? Make you put your shoes on at Olive Garden even though they tell you, ‘When you’re here, you’re family?’ And then when you try to fill a briefcase with unlimited breadsticks, can they call security?” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump's bone spur x-ray finally released (Who’s sexier than Fauci?)

“Dr. Anthony Fauci, “the man whose calm leadership during this crisis has won him the respect of all intelligent people and President Trump. Fauci has reportedly been assigned a security detail due to conspiracy-related threats. Now, unfortunately, getting threats is fairly standard for anyone in the public eye. But what’s not standard is that Dr. Fauci is also receiving lots of ‘unwelcome communications from fervent admirers’. Yes, that’s a nice way to say that your groupies are crazy. And who would’ve thought one day we’d be living in a world where the whole planet would be grounded, and an epidemiologist would be the hottest man on earth. People are just like: ‘I gotta get me some of that Fauci. You know he got that vaccine, girl.’ Who’s sexier than Fauci? No one’s sexier. If People magazine doesn’t put him on the cover, they’re wasting their lives.” —Trevor Noah

“How can a governor be so far behind the curve, hm? A governor. I just picture him, now, what, watching Season 3 of ‘Westworld’ like, ‘Guys, I’m starting to think some of these people might be robots. I don’t know. There's something about them.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

President Obama and some guy brought doughnuts! (return Mike Pence to Westworld)

After President Trump tweeted a poster of himself in the style of HBO's Game of Thrones that said "Sanctions Are Coming," HBO responded and said it would prefer the tagline not be misappropriated for political purposes. They'd also appreciate it if he would return Mike Pence to Westworld.  --Seth Meyers

Former President Obama and Senator Tim Kaine took doughnuts to a campaign office in Northern Virginia today. Or, as the people in the office put it, "President Obama and some guy brought doughnuts!" --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In Your Guts You Know He's Nuts (major chaos)

I saw that “Survivor” is coming back for a 37th season. I think they're starting to run out of locations. They just announced that next season is being held at a Costco on a Saturday. --Jimmy Fallon

Evan Rachel Wood is on the show tonight. She is the star of "Westworld," the show about robots that look identical to humans, and cause major chaos. Or as it's also known, Facebook. --Jimmy Fallon

A group of scientists in Singapore built a robot that can put together Ikea furniture. That's when you know something's wrong, when it's easier to build a robot than an Ikea dresser. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Is this a flashback or is it happening right now? (I'm a very stable genius)

Yesterday, after Ambassador Nikki Haley told the U.N. that the United States was going to level more sanctions against Russia, the White House quickly contradicted her, saying she suffered from "momentary confusion." It's got to hurt, being called "confused" by the Trump White House. That's like being called hateful and mean-spirited by . . . well, by the Trump White House. --James Corden

Nikki Haley was not having any of it and shot back at the White House, saying, "With all due respect, I don't get confused." Then she added, "Except for when I'm watching 'Westworld.' Then I'm totally confused. Wait, is she a robot? Is this a flashback or happening right now?" --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

I think this is the year to bring that tradition back (Back to the Future)

The early voting results are in and on Saturday, Nickelodeon announced the winner of its Kids Pick the President initiative. This is an event where school kids vote, and the majority were overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton. Nickelodeon may have voted for Hillary, but we need to find out what Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel say before we can call it a lock. –James Corden

Tomorrow we will elect either Biff from “Back to the Future” or one of the robots from “Westworld.” You will decide. –Jimmy Kimmel

There used to be a tradition of heavy drinking on Election Day. People used to get drunk like St. Patrick’s Day, then they passed all sorts of laws to prevent that from happening. I think this is the year to bring that tradition back. –Jimmy Kimmel