Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco (Captain China)

Today Jeb Bush announced he's running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush's message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign.—Conan O’Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"Rep. Michele Bachmann once said that gay people lead a very sad life. Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For instance, after serving as class president, he left the sixth grade with a $42 billion deficit (Or as Trump calls that, “Thursday.”)

Oprah has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. When asked about Hillary’s chances of becoming the most powerful woman in the world, Oprah said, "Oh, I’m not stepping down." –Conan O’Brien

Today Jeb Bush announced he's running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush's message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign.—Conan O’Brien

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper says Maria Shriver became suspicious after noticing similarities between Arnold and her 13-year-old son. For instance, after serving as class president, he left the sixth grade with a $42 billion deficit." –Conan O'Brien

Experts say that if President Trump were to fire Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, all hell would break loose. Or as Trump calls that, “Thursday.” –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll get to the bottom of this, or my name isn't Malt Ramrod (The Beatles did)

It's being reported that Hillary Clinton now has enough delegates to secure the Democratic nomination. Hillary was so excited when she found out she asked her staff to schedule 15 seconds of smiling. –Jimmy Fallon

Kylie Jenner recently posted a Snapchat video of herself giving two little boys $100 for just two cups of lemonade. Nobody has paid that much for lemonade since Jay Z. –Jimmy Fallon

"Speaking of Mitt Romney, his campaign is in the news for misspelling several words on his promotional items. Today, Romney issued a press release that said, 'I'll get to the bottom of this, or my name isn't Malt Ramrod.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it's like they were here a second ago and they just disappeared (triple homicides)

Snapchat is laying off 100 employees. A spokesperson for the company said, "It's weird, it's like they were here a second ago and they just disappeared." --Conan O’Brien

Nickelodeon is bringing back the popular preschoolers' TV show "Blue's Clues." There's one slight change – Blue only solves triple homicides. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

In a blood-soaked chase for cheap votes (The Party of Pro-Death)

In an interview this week, Barbra Streisand revealed that she cloned her favorite dog, twice. Barbra said, "I couldn't help myself, he was delicious." --Conan O’Brien

Kylie Jenner's baby daughter has made her debut on Snapchat at one month old. In the Kardashian world, that is known as a "late bloomer." --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me

Today for International Women’s Day, women across the country protested by refusing to work. That’s a true story. That’s what happened today. In fact, earlier today Siri told me, “Look it up yourself, [bleep].” And then slapped me. –Conan O’Brien

In honor of International Women’s Day, Snapchat added famous women to their selfie lenses. Snapchat called it the perfect way to honor the enduring contributions of women for 10 seconds. –Conan O’Brien

According to a recent poll, first lady Melania Trump’s approval rating has increased to 52 percent since President Trump’s inauguration. And her “feel sorry for her rating” is over 90 percent. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Other than that, the Bush presidency wasn't half bad!

Snapchat’s IPO launched on the stock market yesterday. Or, to put it another way, something that your parents don’t understand just launched on something YOU don’t understand. –Jimmy Fallon

A new financial app from JP Morgan can now do in seconds what it once took Wall Street financiers 360,000 hours to accomplish. That’s right, the app wrecks the global economy. –Conan O’Brien

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is in trouble because he was caught lying under oath about contacting the Russians during the election. When asked if the allegations were true, Sessions said, “Absolutely nyet.” –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

It’s just “Eye of the Tiger” 14 times

Today Jeb Bush announced he's running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush's message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign.—Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton has released a 14-song Spotify playlist to go along with her 2016 campaign. The weird part, though, is that it’s just “Eye of the Tiger” 14 times.—Seth Meyers